Bleed
by butterflie
Summary: Something is very wrong with Yamato, and Taichi's determined to get to the bottom of it. But is the cost of friendship worth it? Taito, Takari, unrequited Kenkeru. Sexual/Physical Abuse, Violence.
1. Foreshadowing

Disclaimer: Toei's.

**Prologue** - Foreshadowing  
by: butterflie

"_So good, so obedient and quiet. I bet you've never talked back a day in your life, right? Right? So that's why I know you'll listen to me now, and do what I tell you to. And you'll be quiet, too, won't you boy? Because if you're not, you'll find out just how much fun it is to be an only child. That's right, baby brother Takeru will be no more... Now, you're not going to make a sound are you, Yamato?" _

_A shake of the head, terrified blue eyes staring up at the man hovering menacingly over him. "I-I'll be good. I won't say anything." The whisper was soft, but the man heard it nonethless, and laughed. _

"_Such a good boy. Your father raised you well. So very, very well. You take right after him." _

"_Why are you doing this?" he asked, wishing he could wipe the tears from his eyes. But the hold on his wrists was too tight, and he couldn't move. _

"_Because I can. I can do whatever I want, boy, and no one is going to stop me. No one will say anything. Even if you told your father, he'd certainly never go to the police. He's too afraid. Such a scared little boy your father was. Much like you are now." The smile seemed downright evil, and he cringed, trying to sink further into the bed, away from the man, away from what he knew would come shortly. _

_It was no use. Soon the man stopped talking, and the rest of the night was filled with hellish actions and a nightmare that would repeat for months to come. _

_And long after it was over, his tears continued to fall from his eyes, and he buried his body deep under blood-stained covers, wishing he could erase the past several hours out of his mind forever. Wishing he could hide away from the world, never to be seen again.Because now he was just a shell. A hollow shell of the boy he'd been just yesterday. No longer innocent. _

_Used. Spent. Broken._


	2. To the Heart

Disclaimer: Toei's.

**Bleed**  
by: _butterflie_  
Chapter 1: To the Heart

"I think something's wrong with Yamato."

"Why do you say that?"

"Have you seen him lately, Hikari?" She shook her head. "He's so distant.. it's like he's not there anymore. He's acting like he used to in the Digital World, always wanting to be off by himself, always so angry and detached and not wanting to talk to anyone, except that this time it's worse."

"Maybe he just has a lot on his mind, Tai," she said, trying to placate me.

I frowned. "Maybe, but I think it's more than that, I really do. You should see him Hikari. At school he's a complete wreck. You know I have every class with him but one, and not in one class has he paid attention, or had his homework, or done well on tests. He sleeps a lot, and he's served detention almost every day. And it's been like this for three weeks now."

She frowned, and started to look a little worried herself. "I'll ask Takeru if he knows what's up."

"NO!"

Hikari looked startled at my sudden shout, and I grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. But please, don't bother Takeru. I don't want to worry him if he doesn't know anything. And you know Yamato always hates it when we try to pry into his feelings.."

My little sister smiled at me softly. "Yeah, he does, doesn't he? Alright, I won't ask Takeru. But maybe you should ask Yamato yourself if anything's up."

I snorted. "Yeah. Right. Like he'd tell me anything."

"He might. He trusts you. I bet he tells you a lot of stuff he doesn't tell anyone else. And if something is wrong, maybe he'd feel better knowing that someone noticed and cared. I'm sure his dad probably hasn't noticed, since he's always working.."

"That's not a very nice thing to say," I admonished her. "Mr. Ishida cares about Yamato."

"I'm sure he does. He's just not there for him."

I let out a sigh. "I don't want to ask him."

"Oh, so now you don't want to be there for him either?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Not technically you didn't."

I groaned at her and finished off the last of the unagi. "Sometimes you can be a real pain, Hikari."

"You're the one who said something was wrong and you were worried," she pointed out. "If I noticed something bothering Takeru, I'd ask him about it."

"Yeah, but that's because you two are going out, and he'll tell you anything. Not to mention he doens't have a ton of walls up like Yamato."

"Takeru's not the person he seems like, oniichan."

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

"All I'm saying is that Takeru is as complex as Yamato, just in different ways. Look, just give it a shot. The worst that could happen is that Yamato doesn't tell you."

"And gets mad and doesn't speak to me," I groused. "God, I hate it when he does that. Here." I handed her the last few takoyaki. "Want 'em? I'm full."

"Taichi? Turning down food?" she asked in mock shock. "This must be more serious than I thought!"

I stuck my tongue out at her. "Shut up."

-+-+-+

"Yamato?"

Honouring the piece of paper before me with one last scowl, I looked up at my dad standing in the doorway. "Yeah?"

_Please, don't let him ask what's wrong again_, I thought to myself. _Otherwise I might scream. Or worse, break down and tell him._

"Phone for you. Taichi."

"Oh, okay. Thanks, 'tousan."

He just nodded and retreated from my doorway, and I picked up the phone in my room. I waited for the click of dad hanging up the other phone before talking.

"Taichi?"

"Hey Yamato!" he greetd me, ever enthusiastic as usual.

"Hi Taichi. What's up?"

"Well, we haven't talked in awhile, so I thought I'd call you!"

"Taichi, we just talked to each other about five hours ago, after school let out."

"Well that's awhile!" he said defensively. "Isn't it?"

Despite the numbness, I felt a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. Taichi is the only person I know who can do that. No one else can, not even Takeru. I know the reason behind this, but it still never fails to amaze me. "Yeah, I guess it is," I replied softly. "It is awhile. So what'd you really want?"

He laughed. "You know me too well. I guess I just wanted to know if I could come over?"

"Right now?" I asked, surprised as I glanced at my clock. It was nearing 8:30.

"Yeah, is that okay? Hikari's having a friend from school over and I don't want to sleep on the couch tonight."

I chuckled, again amazed at myself for doing so. "Sure, I guess it's okay. Just lemme ask my dad real quick, alright?"

"Okay. Hurry back!"

_That's a strange thing to say._ I put down the phone and went down the hall to dad's bedroom, where he was laying on his bed, reading.

"'tousan?"

He put down his book and looked over at me.

"Is it okay if Taichi comes round tonight?"

"Yes, it's fine. I've got to get to work early tomorrow morning though, are you boys going to be okay here yourselves?"

"We'll be fine, otousan. We're old enough to handle things ourselves for a day."

"Okay then."

"Thanks,'tousan!" I tried to smile at him, but it didn't seem to be working, so I just ran back to my room and picked the phone back up.

"Taichi? He said it's fine."

"Really? Great! I'll be round soon then, okay Yama?"

"Okay. I'll let you in. Bye."

"Bye!" He hung up, as did I. A quick glance around my room proved it was fit for company, and after shoving the stubborn song lyrics I'd been working on earlier in my desk, I went to the living room to wait for Taichi.

-+-+-+

I hung up the phone and looked over at Hikari.

"Well?" she said.

I shrugged. "He bought it. And he said I could cme over. So.. I guess..."

"Well, that's good! Now you can ask him what's wrong."

"Yeah, but I don't know Hikari... I don't know if this is such a good idea.."

"Why? You've been round to his countless times. And I'm sure he's had things bothering him before that you've asked about, right?"

"Well, yeah, but this is a lot more serious. I don't want to destroy our friendship. He's always so touchy.."

She sighed at me. "Taichi, please, don't be so nervous. Things will be okay. If he doesn't tell you, just don't push it, alright? It's as simple as that. Now go on. He'll start to wonder if you're not there soon. And have some fun, okay?"

I'm taking commands from a fourteen year old. I rolled my eyes at her. "Yes, Mother. Whatever you say, Mother."

"Oh stop!" she said, laughing. "Look, it will be okay. Just go!"

"Alright, alright, I'm going!" I exclaimed, grabbing the bag I'd packed earlier. I went out to the kitchen and said a quick goodbye to mom, then left the building and headed in the direction of Yamato's apartment.

Despite what Hikari said, I was still really nervous. I knew something was seriously wrong with Yamato, and a few days ago when I'd tried asking him if anything was wrong, the glare he gave me sent shivers down my spine. It was so cold, so full of hatred and loathing.. I don't think I'd ever seen Yamato look like that before. And I didn't really care to see it again either. But I was afraid if I asked him again, I'd ruin the friendship between us forever. He'd told me nothing was wrong, and to drop it. I'd intended on doing just that, because I don't know that I could live without Yamato. Yet now here I was, going round his, based on a lie no less, and I was going to attempt to find out what was wrong and probably thoroughly piss him off in the process and possibly lose him for life.

Nervous? Me? Of course not. Yagami Taichi is _never_ nervous.

About ten minutes later, I reached his apartment. I turned the knob, expecting to find the door open like it usually is whenever Yamato knows I'm coming over.

It was locked.

_Strange. Maybe he just forgot to open it._ But no, he'd said he'd let me in, didn't he? Which means he'd planned to leave it locked. Frowning, I knocked and waited for him to answer. When he did, I gave him a confused look. "Why'd you leave it locked?"

"Oh.. you know.." he looked a little uneasy. "Just.. not safe, and all..." He wasn't looking at me. I could tell he wanted to drop it, so I didn't press the matter.

"Oh. Well, you gonna move aside and let me in or you just gonna make me sleep out here in the hall all night?"

He blushed, and moved aside. "Sorry."

_Cute. He should blush more often._ Inwardly groaning and shaking my head at myself, I followed him back to his room, setting my bag down in a corner. "Hey, thanks for letting me come over. Hikari's friend was real obnoxious, and I think I would have gone crazy!"

He smiled gently at me for a moment. "It was no problem, really, Taichi. Although I considering leaving you there just to see if they'd give you a makeover and take a picture again..."

I gasped in pretend horror. "Yamato!" I acted hurt. "How could you? You promised you'd never bring that embarrassing incident up again!"

"What, no one's around, it's okay.." He grinned. "Besides, it's fun to tease you and watch you get all pouty."

"Hmph." I pouted. "You're mean."

"Thank you," he replied cheekily, laughing at me.

I was slightly put off. This Yamato I was seeing now wasn't the same Yamato I'd been seeing at school. I almost tried convincing myself I'd just imagined him that way, but as his laughter quickly died, his face became solemn and serious, and his eyes looked all far-away again, and I knew I hadn't. Besides, there was no way I imagined him not having homework or getting all that detention. And true, too, ever since I'd attempted to figure out what was wrong, he'd been more careful to hide that anything was, though he still did poorly in school.

"Why so quiet?" he asked suddenly.

"Huh? Oh nothing. What do you want to do?"

"I dunno, what do you want to do?"

"Got any food?" I grinned.

He just rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised? Come on, let's go feed you."

"Yay! Food!" I bounded after him down the hall to the kitchen. Truth tell, I was _starving_. I'd skipped supper earlier because I was busy trying to think up a way to ask Yamato if he was okay without things going too badly. I'd failed, but that was besides the point. The point was that I hadn't eaten anything since lunch, and wanted food desperately.

"What do you want?" he asked me. I opened up his fridge unabashedly, looking inside. I'd been at his so much I practically lived here. I'd long ago gotten over feeling shy about going through his apartment. However, there wasn't much in his fridge, and I didn't think Yamato was really in the mood to cook for me. He had probably already cooked for his dad earlier. So I looked to see if he had any frozen foods, and, lo and behold, a pizza! Frankly, I'm not that fond of pizza, but if I'm really hungry, I'll eat it, and I was really hungry.

"Are you saving this for anything important?" I asked, pointing to the coveted pie. "Or do you mind?"

He looked at it. "Wow, I didn't even know we had that pizza. 'tousan must have picked it up. Sure you can have it."

"Thanks!" I yanked it out of the freezer and quickly tore off the box and stuck it in the microwave, too impatient to mess with the oven.

Yamato blinked. "Are you sure you want it.. in the microwave?"

"Sure, why not?" I looked at him. "Something wrong with your microwave?"

"No, but it tastes better cooked in the oven..."

I shrugged. "Too hungry." I stared at the microwave, watching the time count down and wishing that 2 and a half minutes didn't seem so long. When it finally beeped and I pulled out my plate with the pizza on it and turned around, I found Yamato staring amusedly at me. "What?" I asked, suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious.

"I've never seen someone studying a microwave so intently before," he smirked.

"Oh shut up. I told you I was hungry." I ignored him and attacked the pizza, taking a huge bite out of it. For a second I thought I was going to choke, but I managed to chew it all and swallow. For a microwaved frozen pizza, it wasn't that bad. Not that I really cared, either. It was food.

"Yamato, I'm sick of this."

"Hmm?" He glanced up from the tv screen, looking at me in small confusion.

"The movies. I'm tired of watching so many. A guy can only take so much, you know."

"Good. I've been waiting for you to say that." He stood up and turned off the vcr and tv, yawning as he did so. He stretched, still looking at me. "You ready to go to sleep now? It's kind of late."

I peered over at his clock, squinting to read the small red numbers. 1:16. Wow, it was kind of late. Later than I'd realized. And I still hadn't talked to him yet. Well, maybe when we were in bed. It might be easier surrounded by the darkness of the room. "Yeah, I guess I am sort of tired, at that. I didn't realize it was so late." I stood as well, then went over to my bag and grabbed the boxers and t-shirt I always slept in at home. I changed quickly, not minding that Yamato was right there in the room with me. Not like he hadn't seen anything on me before anyways. Hell, we bathed together in the Digital World way back when. However, he hadn't changed yet, which I found slightly curious. Surely he wasn't going to sleep in his clothes?

"Aren't you going to change?" I asked him.

"Umm.." he blushed. "Yeah. I'm just going to take a quick shower first, since I forgot to before."

I raised my eyebrows, but wisely didn't say anything. "Alright. Where am I sleeping?"

His blush deepened. "You don't mind sharing the bed, do you? I took the futon over to Takeru's and forgot to bring it back."

"Sure, it's cool. As long as you don't kick me in your sleep, or toss and turn, or steal all the covers."

He stuck his tongue out at me. "Just make sure _you_ don't," he threatened.

I made faces at him as he left.

-+-+-+

I groaned as I sat there in the shower, letting the water wash over me. What was I going to do? I know Taichi knows something's wrong, and I'm pretty sure he's going to try to get me to talk about it tonight. And, I'm afraid to go to sleep. What will happen when he finds out I have nightmares all throughout the night now? What if I start bleeding again, like I do occassionally when I'm tossing around too much during sleep. What if I talk in my sleep, and say the wrong things? Why did Taichi have to stay over? Why did I have to say yes?

But it's not like I really could have done much. If I'd told him no, he'd have gotten even more suspicious. And I can't let him find out. I can't let anyone find out.

But maybe he won't ask me. I think I really scared him the other day, so maybe he knows well enough to leave it alone. Though that still doesn't eliminate the problem of sharing a bed with Taichi. Oh God, what if he becomes dirty too? What if I somehow make him dirty?

Frantically I began scrubbing at my skin, trying to make myself feel clean, trying to forget the touch of another hand, trying to scrub away the sin I was soaked with. Trying to untaint myself. I'd been trying for three weeks now, and so far I still didn't feel any better. I was still dirty, and wrong, and impure...

Sighing, I leaned my head against the wall of the bathroom, stopping my futile scrubbing. It wasn't going to do any good. It never did. I still felt the same inside: empty, dead, detached. I looked down at my wrist. The mark was still there. It hadn't completely healed yet. A stupid attempt to remove myself from this world that I'd regretted the second I'd done it. Thankfully I'd managed to stop the bleeding before it got serious. No one knew about it, and until the cut healed and couldn't be seen, I intended to keep it hidden. I could only hope that it wouldn't scar.

Sighing again, I shut off the water and got out of the tub. I pulled on a pair of black sweatpants and a black long-sleeved shirt. It was my sleepwear now. It was hot as hell, but at least it kept me covered. I just hoped Taichi didn't say anything about it. After brushing my teeth, I went in to my room. Taichi was already there in the bed, with the lights off. Maybe he was asleep. Maybe I wouldn't have to worry about--

"Yamato?"

No such luck. Of course. Taichi was never an easy sleeper.

"Yeah?" I asked him, crawling into bed.

"You were gone longer than I thought'd you be," he said.

"Oh. Sorry." I turned towards my clock, shocked to find I'd been gone nearly thirty minutes. It certainly hadn't felt that long. I hope I hadn't woken dad...

Taichi was silent for awhile as we lay in darkness, and I'd actually just started to drift off to sleep when he spoke back up. "Yama?"

Silently I cursed, wishing I could sigh, knowing I couldn't, lest I offend him. "Yeah?"

"Well... nothing. Never mind. Forget it."

Oh hell.

"No! Wait."

Oh _hell._

"Don't forget it. I.. um.. look, I know you said you were okay the other day but the truth is I don't think you really are I mean look at you the way you act in school it's just not right you seem so distant and you're doing so horribly in class and you always get detention and I know something's wrong Yama I just know it is and I wish you'd tell me what I want to help you please, tell me."

He spoke so fast I wasn't even able to catch all of what he said, but it was enough. This time I did sigh out loud.

"Listen Taichi. I told you the other day. _Nothing_ is wrong. I'm fine, really. Just sort of tired lately. I've been staying up late writing for the band. Please, stop worrying."

He didn't say anything to that, and I worried if I'd made him mad. "Taichi?"

"Dammit, Yamato," he said in a low voice. He was seething. I winced. "I know something's wrong. I'm not stupid! Why won't you tell me? Don't you trust me anymore? I thought we were best friends!"

"We are, idiot!" I yelled at him, momentarily forgetting it was 2:00 in the morning. "I don't have to tell you every single little detail of my life Taichi! There isn't some little friendship clause that says best friends have to tell all! If there was something wrong and I wanted to keep it secret, then I should be able to without you pestering me. But there's NOTHING WRONG!"

"Yes there is! Stop lying to me!"

"Last time I checked, Yagami Taichi-" by now my voice was steel "-you were not me. Last time I checked, I was still the one in charge of my feelings and emotions, and if I say that nothing is wrong, then _nothing.is.wrong._ If you ask me again, then you can just go home, I don't care how late it is."

There was no response other than him turning his back to him. Shortly I could hear him crying, though he was trying not to let me know. But I didn't apologize, and soon I found myself drifting off to sleep.

I woke to my choked off screams and a steady shaking motion that made me want to get sick. It was Taichi, trying to shake me awake. "Okay, stop! Stop Taichi, I'm awake."

He stopped, and looked at me fearfully. "You're awake now?"

"Yes, I'm awake, see, I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm awake."

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You. You were mumbling in your sleep, and then you started crying, and then sceaming.. and I had to wake you, cos your dad's already left for work."

"Uhh... just a nightmare, I guess. I don't remember now." I remembered very well, but I wasn't going to tell Taichi. I didn't need him bothering me about my problems anymore.

"A nightmare? Hmph. And you say nothing's wrong.. You're not fine," he muttered.

I decided to let it go. "What time is it?"

"About nine."

Wow. I managed to make it through the night with only one nightmare waking me. An improvement. "Nine already? You want some breakfast? I'm feeling a bit hungry."

"Sure!" He grinned, and the fight from last night was forgotten. "I'm always one for food!"

"Yes, yes, of course," I murmured. I slid out of bed. Immediately, Taichi frowned at me. "Why are you wearing that?"

I frowned. "What's wrong with it?"

"Didn't you get hot during the night?"

"Not really. Usually I get a little cold sometimes."

"It's summer!"

"It rains a lot," I retorted. "It actually gets quite cool sometimes." I headed towards the door. "Come on, let's go eat."

"Food!"

Chapter 1 _finale_


	3. Blank

Disclaimer: Toei's.

**Bleed**  
by: _butterflie_  
Chapter 2:Blank

"Tadaima!" I slammed the door shut behind me and slipped off my shoes, then went in search of my family. Mom was in the kitchen cooking something I didn't recognize but looked.. well, alive. And old. Ick. Wouldn't be eating supper again tonight, it seems. "Tadaima, okaasan!"

She put the knife down on the cutting board and turned towards me. "Taichi, okaeri!" She smiled. "Did you have fun at Yamato's?"

"Yeah. We watched some movies last night, and then went out to the park with some of our other friends earlier."

"That's good. Glad you enjoyed yourself, you seemed a bit upset yesterday."

I smiled back at her. "It was nothing, just a bad day. Where's Hikari?"

"She's in her room, I believe."

I nodded. "Thanks."

About two and a half years ago, right after the second Digital World stuff, my parents decided that Hikari and I were getting too old to share a room, and that we needed our own space. So we moved into an apartment a few blocks away from our old one. They were a lot alike, except that this one was bigger, and had an extra bedroom. So we finally had our own rooms, and I was glad. It had been getting too much of a hassle to share a room with her.

I knocked on her door. "Hikari?" I waited for her to acknowledge me before entering. Once, not long after we'd moved, I walked in pn her changing. Since she'd grown up more from when she was a baby, it wasn't a pretty sight. Never again. So now I always knock first.

"Come in!" she called, and I did so. "Did you talk to Yamato?" she demanded first thing.

I sighed. "Yeah."

"Did he tell you what was wrong?"

"No. Kept denying that anything was, that he was perfectly fine. He yelled at me, and tried to blame his lack of attention in school on lack of sleep."

"Well, maybe that's all it really is."

"No," I said insistently. "It's not. You'd have to be there to really understand, Hikari. You'd have to see him to know that anything was wrong, and you'd have to know him really well. And last night, he was different."

"Different how?" she asked, flopping backwards on her little bed. She had a really small bed. Even she could barely fit on it. I couldn't, I was too big for it. So whenever she had someone over, she always used my bed, since I still had our old bunk bed.

"Like, I don't know. Mostly little things. He didn't leave the door unlocked for me like he usually does. Wore pants and long sleeves to bed. Took a shower at 1:15 in the morning. Had a nightmare that he woke up screaming from, then insisted he couldn't remember. Kept zoning out while we were watching movies. The pieces of the puzzle are there, Hikari, I just don't know how to put them together. And he won't tell me a thing."

"Did you ask him about the weird stuff?"

I went over and sat down at her desk chair, fiddling with the small knick-knacks gathered on her desk. "Yeah. He made up excuses. It wasn't safe to keep the door unlocked, he'd meant to shower earlier, it got cold out at night, even though summer's almost here. I don't understand it. Wish he'd tell me."

"Maybe he will. Just give him some time. Takeru's coming over soon so we can study for an algebra test on Monday. You sure you don't want me to talk to him?"

Just then the doorbell rang, and I heard my mom rush to answer it.

"That's probably him there. Well?"

I paused, hesitant. I really didn't want to worry Takeru about it, but something was wrong, and it'd be helpful to know if he'd noticed too. "I.. no, don't ask him. Not now. I don't want Takeru to worry."

"Worry about what?"

Oops. I turned towards the door to see Takeru standing there, staring at me with a questioning look. "You don't want me worrying about what, Taichi?" he repeated.

"Ano... it's nothing. Nothing, Takeru." I looked back at my imouto. "I'll see you later, Hikari. You guys have fun." I stood and tried to leave the room, but Takeru wouldn't let me. Every time I tepped one way, he stepped the same way. I couldn't get around him.

"What's your problem?" I asked him,glaring.

He glared back at me. "What's _your_ problem? What are you keeping from me?"

"I said it was nothing, Takeru! Just forget about it!"

"No! You were talking about me! I have a right to know!"

"Not if I don't want you to know!" I raised my fist, ready to swing a punch at him, but as he cringed back, I paused. If I hit his little brother, Yamato would kill me. I lowered my fist, just as Hikari jumped off of her bed, ready to intervene.

"Guys! Stop fighting! Takeru, let him go. It's not worth it, and it's nothing real important. If you really need to know, we'll tell you, okay?"

"Well I really need to know," he muttered, stepping aside to let me by.

"No, not right now you don't. Okay? Now come on, we can't fail the test."

She led the upset blond into her room, and I disappeared into my own room to lose myself in mindless video games.

I got to homeroom two minutes before the bell Monday. Looking for Yamato, I didn't see him anywhere. Sadly, this was starting to become normal. He often missed homeroom, or walked in when it was halfway over. Today apparently would be no exception.

The bell rang, and I scrambled to my seat, wondering if Yamato would at least show up for homeroom today. I nodded hello to a couple of guys from my soccer team, then quieted down as Sensei entered. He took care of the usual morning business and called roll, sighing slightly when there was no answer to Ishida Yamato. And when homeroom had ended, there was still no sign of him. I looked for him in the hallways on the way to my second class, but there was no sign of him. So I just gave up and went to class before I was late. And unfortunately this was the one class I didn't have with Yamato, so I had no way of knowing when he got to school.

I suffered through that class, then impatiently headed to third, fully expecting to see Yamato when I walked in.

He wasn't there.

_What the hell? Is he still at home? Surely he would have called if he were sick or something, he always does.._

It turns out he didn't show up until halfway through fourth. He stood there at the front of the room as Sensei bawled him out, nodding occasionally as if he was listening, though to look at him you could tell his mind was a million miles away. Something else had happened to him, I was sure of it.

Finally he was allowed to take his seat, and he came over and sat next to me. I waited for Sensei to turn his back to the class, then hissed, "Yamato!"

He didn't seem to hear me. Instead, he was staring off into space, his eyes blank, face slack. Not blinking, not moving, not aware of a thing around him.

"Yamato!" I hissed again. I reached over and poked him.

He jumped slightly and looked over at me. "Huh?"

"Where were you this morning?" I whispered. "Why were you so late to school?"

"I forgot to set my alarm. I overslept."

"Overslept!" Oops.

"Yamagi-kun, is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

"Ano.. gomen Sensei."

"Please try to pay attention in class from now on, Yagami-kun," he warned me, although he knew it wouldn't do much good.

"Hai, Sensei." I did my best to try to pay attention the rest of the class, but it was hard. I ached to talk to Yamato and see if I could find out what was wrong with him. But now I'd have to wait until lunch, and it wasn't likely he'd talk to me anyways.

Finally the bell rang, and class was over. I jumped up and started tossing things into my bookbag, then faced Yamato, thinking he'd be ready to go.

He was just sitting there, still staring off into space, not yet realizing class was over.

"Ano.. Yamato?"

Like earlier, there was no response. He hadn't heard me at all.

"Yamato!" I punched him lightly on the arm.

"Oww.." he mumbled. "What'd you do that for?"

"Come on, class is over. Didn't you hear the bell?"

"The bell?" He gazed around the room with some surprise, startled to find it empty of everyone but us and Sensei. "Oh, uh, guess I didn't. Sorry."

Hastily he stumbled up from his seat and started towards the door.

"Yamato?"

"_What_?" He turned back towards me.

I pointed to his bookbag, which was laying forgotten on the floor beside his desk.

"Oh, heh, whoops," he said sheepishly, coming back for it. He grabbed it and we headed towards lunch.

"Dammit, why does he always have to get so pissed off and stubborn about it? All I want to do is help him! Is that such a crime? Why does he make such a big deal out of everything? Why can't he just tell me! We're best friends! I thought by now he'd have learned to trust me! I hate seeming him in so much pain! I don't know what to do, Kou.."

The red-headed genuis watched with concern as I paced around his living room. "If he doesn't want to tell you, then there's really not much you can do for him, Taichi. Just let him know you're there if he wants to talk. Don't try to force him to talk like you did at lunch today. You're just making him more closed off. He'll probably be more willing to talk on his own terms, when he's ready, and he doesn't feel obligated to tell you just because you're best friends."

I sigh defeatedly and sank down on his couch next to him. "You're right, you know. I didn't really handle it well. But it's just so hard! I care so much about him, and having to see him hurt and not know what's wrong.." I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I just wish I knew how to help him. I feel so helpless."

Koushiro was the only person who knew that I liked Yamato. I hadn't told anyone else. Sometimes it's so nice to just be so open..

"Yeah, I know, Tai," he said softly. "I'm sure things will work out eventually."

"That's what Hikari said.." Closing my eyes, I said, "I should probably go home and call him to apologize."

"I think that would be a sound idea."

I groaned at him and opened my eyes. He nudged my head off his shoulder and stood, offering me a hand. "Come on."

I took it and let him pull me to my feet. "Sorry about coming over and ranting at you."

"It's okay. What are friends for, after all?"

I gave him a soft smile. "Yeah. Thanks."

"Hello?"

"Ano.. Yamato? It's Taichi."

"What do you want?"

"Can I come over for a little bit? I need to talk to you. Or is there somewhere we can go?"

"We can go to the park."

"Okay. Then will you meet me there in about twenty minutes, please?"

"I guess."

"Thanks!" I was relieved. "See you then." I hung up. He didn't seem too happy with me.. Well, I _had_ embarrassed him in front of the whole cafeteria at lunch today. I suppose I deserved to have him a little mad at me, though I didn't like the feeling.

I grabbed my jacket off the back of my desk chair, because earlier when I'd gone out on an errand for mom, it'd been raining lightly. I didn't know if it was still was or not, but chances were it would be a little chilly.

"I'm going out for a bit!" I yelled as I headed towards the front door. "I'll be back soon!"

"Taichi, what about dinner?" Mom yelled after me. But it was too late. The door slammed, and I was gone.

-+-+-+

Apparently I'd gotten to the park before Taichi, so I chose our favourite tree and took a spot up under it, waiting for him to arrive. I didn't wait long; presently I saw his silhoutte approaching the tree. I called out to him. "Taichi."

He continued to head towards me. "Hey," he said when he reached me. I wondered what he was thinking. Probably worrying about me being mad at him. Which I wasn't. Not really. Not anymore. Oh sure, I'd been mad earlier, but I was pretty much over that now. After all, he's made a fool of himself in the cafeteria millions of times. So what if I was made a fool of once? It's not like I should have cared what others thought of me anyways. It's just that it mattered at the time, and I was so sick of him and my dad trying to figure out what happened, and then, after the little bombshell dad dropped on me today.. I clenched my hands into a fist, trying to forget about that,half hoping Taichi wouldn't notice. Half hoping he would. Hoping he'd leave it alone. Hoping he wouldn't.

"Yama?"

"What?" I winced, that came out harsher than I'd meant for it to.

"I just.. well, I just wanted to apologize. About before. Today. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you, and I shouldn't have said what I did. Do you forgive me?"

I let out a soft exhalation of breath. "Yeah, I forgive you Taichi."

"Good."

There was silence for a bit, but it was such a comfortable silence that I didn't mind it. There were often such silences with Taichi; being friends with him for such a long time, we were able to be content just in each other's presence.

"You know.." he began. I waited. "You know," he said again. "..that I'll be here for you, right? That I'll.. continue to be.. your friend," he was fumbling with his words, unsure of himself, as if he didn't quite know how to get out what he wanted to say. "I know something's wrong. I'm not blind, and I don't appreciate.. you lying to me.. but I know I was.. well, I was wrong to push you, to try.. to try to force you to tell me.. when you didn't.."

"Taichi-"

"No, let me finish. I shouldn't.. I shouldn't have forced you when you.. you weren't ready to talk. I'm sorry about that.. I just, I want you to know, if you ever need me.. if you ever just need an ear to listen.. Well, I do care, and I'll always be there when you want me. I just want you to know that."

I didn't quite know what to say to that. I was rather touched, and felt sort of guilty. I had been lying to him, and shoving him away, but I wasn't trying to shut him out. It's just that I couldn't tell him, couldn't tell anyone for the sake of Takeru. "Taichi.. I'm sorry. Sorry for being an ass these past weeks. And.. well, that means a lot to me. Thanks."

He breathed out in relief. "You're welcome." He offered me a lopsided grin, and I returned it. "Come on, let's go home."

Dad was waiting up for me in the living room when I got home. "Tadaima," I said half-heartedly.

"Okaeri," he said. "I called your uncle today. He said it was okay for you to stay over again while I'm gone on my trip."

"Of course he would have said that," I muttered.

He frowned. "What?"

"Nothin', 'tousan." I grimaced. "Look, do I have to go? Why can't I stay over at Taichi's?"

Dad let out a tired sigh. "Yamato, we've been over this before. I don't want you staying over at Taichi's for two weeks. There's really not enough room for you there for such a long time."

"Then why can't I stay here by myself?"

"Because I don't feel comfortable having you alone for such a time, and no, I don't want you and Taichi here yourselves either!"

"But I'm old enough to stay on my own! Please 'tousan!"

"Why don't you want to spend time with your uncle? You used to love going there when you were little."

"Well, I'm not little anymore! I resent being babysat like a child. And besides, he's creepy."

"I know he can be a little weird, Yamato, but he's not a bad guy."

_That's what you think_, I thought bitterly.

"And besides, you survived it last time, didn't you?" _Barely._ "You can tough it out again. It's only two weeks."

"Oh, but I thought two weeks was such a long time. That's what you said a moment ago."

"You are staying with your uncle and that's that, Ishida Yamato!"

"Agh! I hate you!" I shouted, running to my room. I flung myself down on my bed and buried my face into my pillow to stifle the sobs that were suddenly tearing themselves out of my throat.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks spent back in Hell. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't. Why did dad have to be so cruel? How could he do this to me? I don't want to do this. I really don't. Why couldn't I just stay with Taichi? At least then I'd be safe.

At last, despite the worries and fears ruminating around in my brain, lulled by the soothing tears cascading down my cheeks, I fell asleep, my face still buried in my tear-soaked pillow.

-+-+-+

"Two weeks? Man, that's rough, Yama. I'm sorry. Your dad wouldn't let you stay at mine, or Takeru's?"

"He doesn't want me to be a burden to you guys. And I'd never stay with Takeru. 'kaasan would drive me crazy. And you know she doesn't like me much. Remember? Takeru's her son. I'm just an obligant offspring."

"Yamato..." I hated hearing him talk like that. He always sounded so bitter and hurt when talking about his mother. But really, I suppose it was at least partially true. I'd never seen a mother seem to care so little about her son as Ms. Takaishi about Yamato.

"Well maybe it won't be so bad. Didn't you stay with your uncle about a month ago? I think I remember meeting him. He seemed like a pretty decent guy to me."

"I don't like him," he stated flatly.

"Well why not?"

He shrugged, and took a small bite out of his yakisoba. "I don't know. I just don't. He's weird."

I frowned. "Weird how?"

He shrugged again. "I don't know."

I laughed. "Well you certainly don't know a lot, do ya? Come on, if it really bothers you that much, you can stay at my place late every day. We can hang and play video games and stuff. Bother Hikari and Takeru."

He shook his head, and set his chopsticks aside. "Wouldn't work."

"You gonna eat anymore of that?" I asked. He shoved the bowl over to me, and I shoveled it in eagerly. My lunch at school was always meager, since I didn't have time in the morning to make anything. "Why wouldn't it work?" I asked him, getting back to the conversation at hand.

"He's sort of strict. He's never had children of his own. He said the last time I was there that I have to come straight home after school. I have to do all my homework before I can do anywhere else. I can't go anywhere after dinner. The only exception is band practice, because 'tousan told him not to mess with that, since it's my future and all. And there's not any concerts real soon, so there aren't many band practices. I'm confined to a house for the next two weeks."

I winced. With someone used to as much freedom as Yama, the next two weeks would be rather difficult. I know that he's often out real late every day, because his dad works late and there's never anyone to go home to. He's gonna hate being shut up. Although at least maybe now he'll start getting his homework done.

"Well, I'm sorry Yamato. I wish I could do more to help you."

"It's okay, Taichi. I didn't expect you to help. I just wanted you to know that I won't be around much. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, it's cool. It's not like you can help it." I shoved his bowl back over to him just as the bell rang. "Come on, we don't want to be late. Sensei would have a fit, and we've got a long way to go."

He nodded and grabbed his bowl, stuffing it back in his lunch sack. Then we stood and made our way out of the cafeteria, preparing to cross campus to get to class.

-+-+-+

_One week later, Monday_

"Don't worry Masaji. We'll be fine. Have fun on your trip."

"Oh yeah, loads of fun. I just love business trips." Dad laughed sarcastically, which surprised me. I didn't know he even had sarcasm in him. He looked at me, standing there off to the side, a sullen look on my face. I didn't want to be here, and all three of us knew it. "You behave yourself, you hear me?"

I nodded. "Hai, Otousan."

He nodded back and looked back at his older brother. "I'll be back in two weeks. Thanks again for taking care of him."

"Really, I told you before, it's no problem Masaji. And I'm sure Yamato will warm up to me soon."

I shuddered at that. _God forbid._

Dad climbed back into his car and backed out of the driveway, waving at me once before driving off. I watched his car disappearing down the street, trying mightily not to cry.

"Loads of fun, Masaji," my uncle murmured.

"Why do you call him that?" I asked.

"Hmm?" he looked at me, snapped out of his thoughts which I can only imagine must be as perverted and sick as the rest of him.

"'tousan. Why do you call him Masaji?"

"Masaharu's the second son1."

"Oh. Makes sense, I suppose.."

"Come on. Let's not stand out here all day, shall we?"

"Guess not," I said reluctantly, and followed him inside.

Chapter 2 _finale_

1 This would make more sense if it was read in Japanese, thus such: Masaharu wa jichou da. In their language, there's a special word for the second born son: _jichou_.


	4. Cheap Shot

Disclaimer: Toei's.

Author's Notes: This chapter has: slightly descriptive rape, child abuse, violence, and some swearing.

**Bleed**  
by: _butterflie_  
Chapter 3:Cheap Shot

"What's that?"

"Huh? What's what?"

"That." He reached up and poked my cheek gently where my uncle had slammed his fist. I winced at the sudden pain even that light touch brought. It must have bruised.

"Oh, I knocked my head into the corner of a cabinet door last night while getting a bowl out. Not used to his house yet. Real stupid of me, huh?" I kept my voice light, though inside I was panicking. What if this kept happening? How would I explain it? I could cover up the others with sleeves and pants, but I couldn't touch my face. The long sleeves already looked suspicious enough.

But to my relief, Taichi just laughed. "And I thought I was supposed to be the klutz around here! What's with you takin' over my job, huh?"

I laughed with him. "I figured it was about high time you retired." There was a smile behind the words that I didn't feel.

Just then the last bell rang. Taichi swore and took off running, me following right behind him. It didn't matter. We were late to homeroom anyways. Another tardy for Ishida Yamato. At least it wasn't because I'd overslept again. And at least I didn't have nightmares last night. Though there was a reason for that...

_Last night_  
I sat up in bed suddenly, heart pounding. Did the door just creak? I could have sworn I heard it. I strained my eyes to see, but the room was pitch-black, and I couldn't make out a thing.

"Wake up, Yamato," I heard my uncle whisper. If I could have seen him, I knew there would be a devilish grin on his face.

"Oh God, no," I groaned. "Please, oji, not already.. please.." A few tears started to gather in the corners of my eyes, and angrily I wiped them away with the back of my hand. I huddled up against the headboard of the bed, drawing the covers close around me. "Please, why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because you're such a good boy, Yamato. Such a good, good boy. Just like your father."

"Did you used to hurt 'tousan too?"

He merely laughed, and I knew then that he had. Poor dad. But then I was angry at him. If he knew what his brother was capable of, then why did he have me stay here! I hope to hell it was one of those repressed memory things, and that he didn't send me hearing knowing what I'd encounter.

Without warning, his hands were on me, and I felt the covers being pulled away from me. I shrieked and cowered down on the bed. "Please.." I begged him. "Don't hurt me."

I felt his hands gently caress my cheek, and I ducked out from under his touch.He reached for me again, but I jumped out of the bed and tried to run. He grabbed my wrist and held me tightly, then switched on a lamp beside the bed. I blinked, trying to adjust my eyes to the sudden intrusion of the dim light.

I was thrown back down on the bed forcefully, and his fist slammed down on the same cheek he'd been caressing only moments before. "Don't you ever run from me," he threatened me softly. "You care about your own jichou, don't you?"

Whimpering, a couple of tears slipping down my cheeks, I nodded.

He twisted my wrist. Hard. "Answer when spoken to, boy."

"Y-yes sir," I stuttered."

He smiled, a dangerous smile that filled me with dread. Then he leaned down and kissed me, with enough force to bruise my lips. I gagged reflexively, but I felt his tongue push against my lips, and knew I had to grant him access or be hurt more. I parted my lips, and it took all my will not to bite down on his tongue as I felt it flick around my mouth.

He broke away from me just long enough to pull off my shirt and straddle me, then resumed his brutal assault on my mouth. I felt more tears slide down my cheeks as his hands begin to roam my chest, going lower and lower, lingering at spots he'd discvered turned me on last time. Then his hands slipped down my pants, and touched me, and I flinched away. Immediately his hands were gone from my pants and pummeling me on my chest, hard enough to leave already forming bruises. "I'm sorry oji," I whispered, crying shamelessly. "I didn't mean to."

"Don't do it again," he warned me, then put his hands back where they'd been. He ran his hands up and down my unwanted erection a few times, and I felt his own hardness growing against my leg. I felt so violated, so dirty, but there wasn't anything I could do. Takeru...

"Take off your pants," he commanded. Slowly, I did as told, trying to delay what I knew would happen as much as possible. "Hurry up, Yamato," he said eagerly. He lifted his body so I could slip my pants and boxers down around my ankles. My freed arousal sprang up from among pubic hair, and I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his face anymore.

By now he was so excited that he didn't much care what I did. He backed up a bit, and lowered his head, taking me in his mouth. I gasped at the cool wetness of his mouth against me, it was so sudden. I tried to will my arousal away, wanting to thwart him at any cost. It didn't work. Being a hormone-controlled male teenager who'd never willingly had sex before, my body was loving his ministrations, even if my mind was thoroughly despising it.

I began to sob when I came. It was so utterly humilating, having no control over my body, wishing I could be anywhere but here, wishing this had never happened.

"Yamato.." he murmured, as he began to remove his own clothing. "Yamato.."

"..Yamato!"

I started, and looked up into Taichi's face staring worriedly down into mine.

"Huh?"

"Geez, try to pay attention,will ya?"

I blushed, feeling bad. "Sorry."

He sighed. "Never mind. Look, homeroom's over. You better go to second period, or you'll be late."

"Right." I stood. "See you in third then."

I felt his eyes on me the whole way out of the classroom and down the hall.

-+-+-+

"Woah, Yamato, what happened to your face?"

Beside me, I heard the blond sigh. He was probably tired of repeating it by now. "I banged my head into the corner of a cabinet, and I didn't realize that it had bruised until Taichi pointed it out this morning."

"That must have hurt," Koushiro said sympathetically.

"I've had worse," he replied truthfully. Then he turned towards me. "I promised the band weeks ago that I'd practice with them during lunch today, because Ratz can't make it later. Is that okay?"

I nodded. "Sure. Practice hard, Yama!" I wanted to talk to Koushiro anways.

When Yamato was gone, I sat down next to Koushiro and leaned in close. "Did you notice anything funny about that bruise?"

He paused in his typing, and looked up from his ever present laptop. "No, should I have?"

I frowned. "I don't know. Somehow I just don't think a cabinet did it."

"Why not?"

"Come on, a cabinet? And wouldn't a cabinet be more likely to scratch him then bruise him? There's something going on with him, Kou, and it's so close within in my grasp I can almost touch it. But I can't quite put my finger on it just yet."

Then suddenly it hit me. "Oh!"

"What?" he asked me, looking confused.

"That's it.." I murmured. "He started getting strange right after.. and he was so upset when he found he had to go back.. maybe it's his uncle.."

Koushiro frowned. "His uncle? Whose uncle?"

"That's it!" I said excitedly. "Don't you see Koushiro? About a month ago, Yamato had to spend a few days with his uncle because his dad had to go out of town. Right after that, he started acting strange. Remember, he stayed home sick for a few days? And when he came back to school he was all spaced out and blank then. And it didn't get any better."

"But why would his uncle be hitting him now?"

"You didn't let me finish! See, last week Yamato was all upset again because his dad said he had to spend two weeks with his uncle again because he had a business trip that was unavoidable. I couldn't figure out what was so bad about it, why he was so upset. He looked ready to cry." I thought for a moment. "He said his uncle was really strict," I mused. "I thought that was it at the time, but there was just this feeling I had, like there was something more.. Maybe his uncle hits him whenever he goes over there."

Kou gave me a searching look for a long moment, and I began to feel uncomfortable. "What? It's not like it's impossible," I said awkwardly, starting to feel stupid for having mentioned it.

"No," he said. "It's not. But a word of advice: Don't mention it to Yamato. If it's not true, he'll be really upset with you. And if it is..."

"If it is?"

He sighed. "He'll be really upset with you."

I groaned. "I was afraid you'd say that. So how do I find out, without mentioning to Yamato?"

"You'll just have to wait for him to tell you."

"But what if he doesn't?"

"Then there's nothing you can do."

"Bullshit!" I said angrily. "I'm not going to stand aside and let my friend get abused! Maybe that's what _you'd_ do, but I sure as hell won't!"

"But you don't have proof!" he argued. "Look, you don't even know the guy's name, do you?"

"Uhh... no," I replied sheepishly.

"So what were going to say to the police? 'Excuse me officer, I think my best friend is being abused, because he had one lousy bruise on his face that he swore came from a cabinet door, but I don't think cabinet doors bruise you, they scratch you. Oh, but I don't know the name of the guy abusing him, but I know it's his uncle. But that's all you need right? So can you go arrest this guy now so my best friend will be so happy and fall in love with me like I want?'"

"That was a cheap shot," I said tightly, clenching my fists underneath the table.

"But it's true! You want to help him because you think it will make him like you!"

"It is NOT!" I roared loudly, and the cafeteria, previousl filled with giggling girls and lots of people chattering and shouting, went deadly silent. "I want to help him because he's my best friend, and unlike YOU, I actually give a fuck about what's happening in my friends lives!"

Then I did something I thought I'd never do. I reared back and punched him, right in the nose. He sat there looking at me stunned, blood slowly dripping from his nose. He didn't make a move to stop it. Just sat there, staring in astonishment. I picked up my bag and stormed to the cafeteria doors. Then, with a quick bow, and "good day" to the group at large, I left.

Without even realizing it, I sought out the band room where Yamato was practicing, and slipped inside. They didn't notice me, too busy wrapped up in their music. I watched Yamato sing for awhile, it always calmed me to hear his beautiful voice.

I continued to listen to him, feeling soothed by the words and the sound of his voice, enjoying listening. Already the anger from my fight with Koushiro was fading, and listening to Yamato sing such a song only made me more determined to help him, no matter what was going on in his life. If he was being abused, I'd help him. If I was wrong, and it was something else entirely, I'd still help him. I didn't care about making him fall in love with me, even if Koushiro thought so. Just having him as a friend was enough. Never want for more. All I wanted was his happiness, and my own be damned in the process.

"Taichi! Long time no see!" I heard suddenly.

I stopped staring at Yamato and looked over at the others. "Hey guys," I greeted them. I didn't smile.

Of course, Yamato noticed this immediately. "Something wrong?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

I tried to smile for his sake. "Oh, nothing. Just a stupid fight with Koushiro. Don't worry about it."

"You hardly ever fight with Koushiro. What was it about?"

"It was nothing, really Yama," I insisted, not wanting him to know we'd been arguing about him. "Just a stupid fight. It's forgotten now. I'll apologize later."

He nodded, clearly not wanting to drop it but doing so for my sake. I was thankful.

He turned to his band. "I know our next concert isn't for another few months, but would you guys mind if we had another practice in three days? This new song still isn't quite right.."

Ny and Ratz nodded, but Kenji said, "Oh crap, I don't think I can make it. Can we do it the day after that?"

Everyone nodded. "Sure. See you guys then," Yamato replied, as the bell rang. He packed up his guitar and set it back in a corner of the room so it wouldn't be disturbed, then waved to the guys as he left the room with me. We headed off to our next class.

"So, you apologized to Koushiro yet about whatever it was?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. I haven't seen him since lunch, you should know that. I was thinking about dropping by his house later today, actually. Wanna come with, and maybe get some icecream afterwards or catch a movie or something?"

His face fell, and he averted his eyes. Briefly his hand came up to touch the bruise on his cheek; I don't think he was even aware of the motion. "I can't, remember?"

"Oh yeah... I did forget. I'm sorry, Yama. Well, maybe another time, hmm?"

He nodded unhappily. "Yeah, another time. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure. And I'll make up with Koushiro, don't worry."

He just nodded again and continued on down the street towards his uncle's house, while I turned down the street and made my way over to Koushiro's apartment.

He let me in when I knocked, but seemed sort of uncomfortable to have me there.

"Oh! Taichi.. hi... come in. Would you like something to drink? Eat?"

"No, thanks Koushiro. I just wanted to apologize about earlier.. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that in front of the whole cafeteria. And I shouldn't have hit you."

He offered me a tentative smile. "Yeah, well, I went too far, I suppose. I was asking for it. I didn't mean what I said, really. About Yamato."

I grinned. "I know. Don't worry, I'm not mad anymore. Hey, wanna go catch a movie? You pick." Koushiro has the best taste in movies of anyone I know.

His smile was wider this time, and genuine. "Sure. I know this great new action movie that just came out.."

-+-+-+

I let myself in with the key my uncle had supplied me, then slipped off my shoes and walked hesitantly to the kitchen. "Tadaima.. Oji? Ojisan.. are you home?"

"Okaeri, Yamato!" he said, appearing out of nowhere. Well, that's what it felt like. Almost gave me a heart attack. I jumped. "Oh!"

He smirked. "Did I startle you? Sorry."

"Um, no, it's okay.." I said. It was happening just like before. He was acting as if nothing had gone on last night, as if he was still my same uncle from when I was little, and we were happy, and there wasn't anything going on. He was acting as if the threat on my brother's life meant nothing, like I could just brush it and last night aside and go on as normal, still adoring him and respecting him the way I used to. Well, I couldn't. The night he broke me, he'd shattered my trust in him forever. My uncle wasn't the same man I thought he was eleven years ago.

"Did you have a good day at school?"

I nodded. "Yes." _No. Not really. It was hell, if you want to know the truth._

"What did you do?"

"Oh, the usual. Went to classes, lunch, more classes." _At least I guess that's what I did._ My brain had sort of been running on auto-pilot these past weeks. Most of the time, I was barely aware of the school and class around me, my mind always kept focusing on past events, events that happened only in the dark of the night. I only had a few flashes of memory of what I was doing in school. Most of them consisted of Taichi calling my name. And band practice, though I kept getting lost in my thoughts then too. The band was actually starting to get a little fed up with it; it was affecting our practices...

Suddenly I realized my uncle was still talking. "...on your homework, okay? And don't you dare come out until you're finished!"

Homework? Shit, I forgot to ask Taichi if we had homework!

"Ano.. oji? May I call my friend Taichi? I forgot what my homework assignments were.." I said timidly.

Stunned, I put a hand up to my nose, and felt the wet red blood beginning to drip out. I was bleeding. He'd just hit me.

Without warning, his hand swung out again, and struck me hard in the stomach.

"Oof!" I doubled over, clutching onto my stomach, the pain in my nose forgotten as the pain in my stomach overwhelmed it. Then he kicked his foot out at my legs, catching me in the shin. I fell down and cowered down on the floor, whimpering from both a mixture of pain and fear.

"I'm sorry Oji..."

"Sorry? You say you're fucking sorry?" He aimed another swift kick at me, hitting me in the side of the head. "Don't tell me you're sorry, you little bastard! I fucking told you the last time you were here, I was going to put up with the disobedience shit! And now, look at you!" Several more kicks to my stomach. "You're bleeding all over my floor! You little asshole!" A sharp kick at my back. I cried out.

"You're pathetic," he sneered. "Clean that shit up off my floor. And don't you bleed again. When you're finished, call your friend and get your homework. But remember, one word.. and Takeru.."

I nodded. "I won't tell," I whispered, as he stormed out of the house. I dragged myself to my feet, ignoring the lancing pain shooting up and down my body. I watched from the side of the window as my uncle climbed into his car and drove off. I knew from previous experience he wouldn't be back for hours. But I didn't dare disobey him.

So I set about cleaning the floor as best as I could, trying not wince, pausing when the pain became too much for me. Eventually I got it cleaned up, and went into the bedroom I was staying in while I was here. I wanted to take a hot shower, hoping it would soothe my aching muscles, but I needed to call Taichi first. _I just hope I don't break down..._

With shaking hands, I picked up the phone from the cradle on the nightstand beside my bed, and dialed Taichi's number correctly on the third try.

One ring... two rings.. three.. four.. five...

_Come on, come on, pick up, please Taichi!_

Finally the phone was picked up, and I about cried in relief.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Yagami? This is Yamato, is Taichi there?"

"I'm sorry Yamato, he hasn't come in yet. Shall I have him call you back later?"

"No," I muttered. "No, that's okay. I'll just catch hm in school tomorrow. Thanks."

"No problem," she said warmly. "Have a good day."

Fat chance, I thought as I hung up. I had only one other person I could call before I was screwed over. I reset the phone and dialed Koushiro. Unfortunately, I didn't even get an answer.

_Great. They must have gone out together somewhere, the way Taichi and I do after we've had a big fight._ I replaced the phone, a sour expression on my face.

Trying to shake off the fear I felt approaching, I went to take a shower, hoping my uncle wouldn't beat me too badly when he found out I couldn't do my homework.

Chapter 3 _finale_

Japanese guide  
_Tadaima_ - I'm home  
_Okaeri_ - Welome back  
_Jichou_ - Second born son  
_Ano_ - Um, Well  
_Oji/Ojisan_ - uncle   
_'tousan/Otousan_ - father


	5. Split

Disclaimer: Toei's.

Author's Notes: Same warnings as the last chapter apply.

**Bleed**  
by: _butterflie_  
Chapter 4:Split

"Oh Taichi, Yamato called for you early. He sounded pretty upset."

"What?" Dammit, how could I have missed that call... I hoped he was okay. "Did he say anything, leave a message?" Like a phone number, so I could call him?

She shook her head. "No, he just said he'd see you in school tomorrow."

"Damn," I moaned. I told him I'd always be there when he needed me, and now he needed me and I was out having a good time with Koushiro. "What time did he call, okaasan?" Maybe I could still go over to his uncle's house. Oh God, I hope his uncle hadn't hurt him or anything, I really hoped he was okay. _I'm sorry, Yamato, please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean to lie to you.._

"About three hours ago, I believe," she told me, watching my face carefully.

"Right after school... but he was fine when I left him..."

"Everything is alright with Yamato, isn't it, Taichi?"

I shrugged and sighed. "I honestly don't know, okaasan. For his sake, I hope so..."

-+-+-+

_Wednesday morning_

School... who needs school? Who really needs anything.. not I... I want to die. I want to be wiped out from this world, my existence erased, my life forgotten, unknown. I don't want to be alive anymore. I don't want this pain, I don't want to feel.

"Boy, you get out here this instant! You'll be late!"

Whimpering, licking away the salty tears staining my cheeks, I gently got out of bed and proceeded to pull on some clothes. I had to move slowly, every time I moved or even touched a part of my body, my battered skin cried out in protest.

'Stop that!' It was saying. 'You shouldn't be moving! You should be lying still. You're hurt. Why do you put us through this torture?' I wish I had a good answer for that.

Carefully I made my way into the kitchen, trying to hide my limp from my uncle. "Mornin', oji," I croaked out. Oh God, it was worse than morning voice. How was I going to get through school like this? I didn't have to look in a mirror to know just how awful I looked.

But if my uncle took any notice of my condition, he didn't say anything. "Get going. You'll be late."

I nodded ever so slightly and picked up my bookbag from where it was sitting on a chair, then left the house, still walking slowly. Damned if I cared about being late. I certainly wasn't running to school, not with the way I felt.

But miracle of miracles, I wasn't late. My uncle lived closer to the school than I did, so it took less time to get there. Taichi was even still in front of the school, waiting to see if I'd actually show up on time or not. His eyes widened as he caught sight of me, but before he could ask what had happened, I offered him a tired smile. "I know, I must look really awful, don't I?"

He nodded, eyes still huge, full of worry.

"Yeah, I figured. I stayed up all night, studying for this major test I have in second. I didn't get much sleep." It wasn't true of course, but what the hell. Taichi didn't need to know the truth, for his sake and Takeru's. Although it certainly would have been nice to tell him...

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You, study? Come on, Yamato, you haven't studied for weeks, not ever since..." he trailed off. I frowned.

"Since?" I was curious to know what he thought.

"Well, don't get mad, but ever since you started getting weird."

I got mad.

"Weird? How the hell am I weird, Taichi?"

He sighed. "I just mean you got all spaced out and stuff, and you stopped doing your homework or studying or being on time..."

Wow. I'd had no idea that it had become so obvious. I'd have to be more careful from now on.

I shrugged. "Well, the test is a major part of our grade. Now come on, let's go to homeroom before we're late." I started heading into the building, but stopped as I noticed he wasn't following. I turned back around. "What?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You're limping."

Oh fuck, he'd noticed. "No I'm not," I said, trying to stay collected. "What gave you that idea?"

His eyes stayed fixated on me. "Take a few steps."

I did so, trying to walk as normal as possible.

"See, you are. You're limping. Why are you limping, Yamato?" He sounded suspicious, and I was beginning to wonder just how much Taichi was figuring out on his own. How much did he know about my uncle? Had he guessed what was going on? It was possible, Taichi was a lot smarter than both he and others gave him credit for. And he was pretty perceptive, too.

"I'm not limping, Taichi," I insisted, taking a few more limping steps. "Come on, you're making us late."

He didn't seem to care if he made us late, he still didn't move. "Why did you call me last night?"

Dammit. I should have figured Mrs. Yagami would tell him. "How do you know if I called you last night?" I asked, trying to stall for time.

"Okaasan told me. She said you sounded upset. Were you?"

I winced, half hoping he hadn't noticed. Half hoping he had. Split down the middle. Torn. "No, not really. I just needed to know the homework, and was kind of frustrated."

He sighed, and suddenly all the anger and suspicion was gone. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked warily, confused. What was he going on about now?

"I told you I'd always be there when you needed me, and I wasn't last night. I'm sorry."

"Uhh... it was just homework, Taichi."

He merely gave me a look as if to say, 'Yeah right'.

"Taichi..."

"Why can't you tell me what's wrong?" he asked softly. I didn't say anything. "I know I shouldn't push you, and Koushiro said I was probably only making you more closed off with all this prying, but I'm only doing it because I care about you, Yamato. I care about you a lot, and seeing you unhappy and hurt makes me unhappy. I want to help you, but I don't know how when you keep shoving me away."

Despite trying to pretend everything was cool, I felt myself begin to cry again.

"I want to tell you," I whispered, finally giving up the denial that nothing was wrong. There was no point in keeping the charade, after all, Taichi wasn't stupid, as I said before. "But..."

"Then tell me, Yamato. _Please_."

"I can't, Taichi. I'm sorry, I just _can't_."

Then I turned and fled into the building, trying to escape the hurt look of betrayal of Taichi's face, wishing I just could tell him, knowing I couldn't and despising myself for it all.

I ignored him all during homeroom, thwarting any attempts to talk to me. I was never more thankful when the bell rang. I jumped up and raced out of the room, heading not for my class but instead dashing down the corridor and ducking into a little used bathroom in our school. Not that there was anything wrong with it, really, just most people either didn't know or forget it was here. It was so rarely used that even the staff barely cleaned it up. There wasn't really a need to.

This was the bathroom I hid in now, locking myself in one of the stalls, thankful the locks on these doors actually still working. I sat there on the floor, back pressed against the wall, letting the tears I denied during homeroom fall freely.

_It's not fair. Why do I have to deal with this? I wish I could tell someone, wish I could make it all stop. I don't understand why oji does this to me, what did I ever do to him to deserve this? I want to tell Taichi.. I really do. I wish I could. But if I do, oji will... oji'll.. he'll kill Takeru. He says he will, and I believe him. I don't want that to happen. Takeru doesn't deserve death. I'm the one that should die._

After awhile, my tears finally dried up, and slowly I stood, stifling back a scream as my body argued against my standing. If only it hadn't been necessary to run from Taichi.

I let myself out of the stall and went over to the mirror, flinching back from the sight I saw. The bruise from yesterday had turned a sickly yellow color and had spread out over my cheek. My nose was slightly swollen from where my uncle had punched it. My eyes were red-rimmed and puffy from crying, and they also had huge black marks under them from lack of sleep. Geez, if just my face looked this bad, what did the rest of me look like? I hadn't actually looked, I hadn't really wanted to. It was enough just to feel the pain and know the hurt was there. But now I slowly raised my shirt and looked at my chest, turning my head almost immediately at the sight. There wasn't really any unmarred skin visible anywhere. Tentatively, I took one of my fingers and poked a particularly nasty looking bruise on my ribs. I had to stifle back another scream at the pain it caused, Slowly I lowered my shirt back down, choking back a sob that rose unbidden to my throat.

_I want to tell someone... I want someone to find out.. please, someone help me. Taichi, help me please.. I need you... You said you'd be there if I ever wanted you. Well, I want you and you're not here for me! Taichi.._

-+-+-+

I'd seen Yamato dash down the corridor directly after the bell, and I knew immediately he was heading for that little-used bathroom down that way. I thought briefly about going after him; however, I figured he needed the time alone, and I couldn't really afford to miss class.

But when Yamato didn't show up for third, I begin to worry. He hadn't gone in that bathroom to do something stupid, had he? Before, I would have said Yamato wasn't capable of anything like suicide, but that was before whatever happened had happened to him.

"Ano.. Sensei?" I spoke up hesitantly, interrupting him in the middle of calling roll.

He sighed and looked down at me over his glasses. "Yes, Yagami-kun?"

"Ishida Yamato is here today, and I think I might know where he is. Can I go after him?"

Sensei stared at me for a long moment, not sure whether to believe me, but I guess he saw how worried I truly was, because he finally nodded and motioned for me to leave.

"Thank you, Sensei," I said thankfully as I ran out of the room. I headed directly for the bathroom, and stopped before entering. Inside I heard what sounded like someone sobbing, though muffled, as if a shirt was pressed against the face or something. Making up my mind, I went in.

Like I'd thought, it was Yamato. He was sitting down against the wall opposite a mirror, his face buried in his knees, sobbing. "It's not fair.." I heard him whisper.

"Yama?" I ventured.

He raised his tear-streaked face to me. "Taichi," he sobbed.

I went over to him and dropped down next to him, pulling him against me in a hug. He winced slightly, but didn't move away. I wondered once again if what I thought about his uncle was true, but I knew now wasn't the time to bring it up.

"What's wrong?" I asked him quietly. "Why are you crying?"

"I need you, Taichi," he mumbled. "I need you, I need you..."

"Hey, hey, I'm here," I said, trying to soothe him. I ran my hand through his hair gently a few times, hoping it would help calm him.

"I want to tell you, I really do," he sniffed. "But you don't understand.. I can't. I _can't_. But I need you so bad, and I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you, and not have to worry. It's not right, you deserve to know."

"Yamato.." I was a bit confused, to tell the truth.

"I wish I was dead," he whispered then. I froze.

"D-dead?" I choked out.

He nodded. "It's awful, isn't it? I really do wish I was dead. Everything would be so much easier. I tried, once.."

That one took my breath away. "What?" I gasped. "What do you mean, 'you tried'?"

"I tried making me dead," he said, still whispering. "But I got scared, and changed my mind.." He raised his head and looked up into my face. "Don't tell anyone, please? It was a stupid mistake I regretted instantly."

"So why are you telling me now?"

"Because I need you," he said simply, and then, without any warning whatsoever, and before I even really understood what was happening, his lips were on mine, touching softly. Not really aware I was doing it, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer to me, kissing him back, totally caught up in the bliss of the moment.

Finally I let him go, and sat back, stunned, grinning stupidly. "Wow," I said softly.

He looked at me and blushed. So damn cute. I laughed. "Wow," I said again. "That was.. unexpected, to say the least."

He blushed again. "Sorry..."

I smiled. "Nothin' to be sorry for. We're going to talk about this later, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay."

"Good." I stood. "Think you can face class? Sensei only let me leave to come find you."

He nodded again, a small smile forming on his face. "Yeah."

I grinned all the way down the hall and back to class. Yamato kissed me! He _kissed_ me! That must mean he likes me, right? Now more than ever I was determined to help him with whatever was wrong.

"How long?"

"Huh?"

"How long have you liked me?"

He shrugged, a little uneasy. "Eto.. about.. three years.." he replied, face turning an interesting crimson colour.

"That long? Wow.." I hadn't started liking him until about two years ago, some months after the Digital World junk. "So, uh, what do we do now?" I asked, unsure of myself and the situation. What would happen with us now? Would things stay the same, or would we start "going out"? How different was our relationship going to be?

"Dunno," he said, not looking me in the eye. "I've never really been in this situation before..."

"Why'd you kiss me?" I asked. That question had been foremost at my mind all day. Why _had_ he kissed me? What had brought it on?

"I.. well, it just seemed like a good idea. I'm not really sure.."

"Are you sorry you did it?" I asked fearfully. Maybe he was regretting it and didn't want anything to do with me! That would be awful.

"NO!"

A load off my mind...

"No," he repeated. "Definitely not. I don't regret it. I just.. Well, I need some time to think things over, really. Is that okay? I mean, you're not mad at me or anything for it, are you?"

I shook my head. "No! Of course not. I.. I like you. A lot. I'm just not sure where we go next.. I guess I probably need some time too."

"Can we talk about this tomorrow then? After we've had a night to think?"

I assented. "Yeah... that'd be good. And anyways, this is your turn-off."

He blinked. "Wow, I didn't realize.." He looked at me then, smiling softly. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I smiled back. "Okay. Be well, Yamato."

He just sort of waved and turned off. I watched him go until he was out of my sight, then turned on the street that would take me to Koushiro's. I needed to talk to him.

"Well, that's certainly an unexpected development," he remarked, taking a sip from his glass of water. He sat the glass back on the table and looked at me.

I grinned at him. "Yeah, but a good one, I think." I laughed. "Gosh, I never would have imagined that Yamato liked me back! He always had so many girls around, I just thought he was straight, and there was no way I ever had a chance with him. But he kissed me!" I laughed again, completely giddy at the thought of me and Yamato together.

"So it's a dream come true. The love of your life kissed you, and you'll spend the rest of your life happily entwined together for eternity. Now come back to reality, Taichi. Have you forgotten the love of your life also has some serious problems right now?"

I sobered at that, remembering Yamato's words this morning before he'd kissed me. "_I wish I were dead."_

"No," I frowned. I took a long swallow out of my coke can. "I hadn't forgotten, Kou. I've made some progress with him, actually."

"How so? He still looked pretty awful at lunch."

"Yeah, but he's opened up some."

"He told you what was wrong?"

"No. But he stopped denying that nothing was wrong. He said he _wanted_ to tell me, actually, but that he couldn't. I don't know why he can't, but I'm beginning to seriously believe his uncle is behind this."

"We've been over this before, Taichi," Koushiro pointed out. "What proof do you have? One bruise does not an abuser make."

"More than I had before. I don't know if he even noticed himself, but his nose was a little swollen today, the same way yours is."

"That's where you punched me."

"I know. But I didn't punch Yamato, and I dare say he didn't punch himself. But his nose is swollen. So who's left? His uncle."

"That's still not enough."

"I'm not done. There's more. When he was going into the building for homeroom, he was limping. I asked him, and he denied it. But I had him walk for me, and the limp was definitely there. And when I came upon him crying in the bathroom and sat down and hugged him, I felt him wince beneath me, as if he were in pain. His uncle is hurting him, Kou, I'm sure of it. Why are you so reluctant to believe it?"

"I'm not," he said. "I just don't want you going off half-cocked on an idea that, while it has a good chance of being true, also has a good chance of being not true. But just for the record, I actually agree with you."

"Then why do you keep arguing against it!"

"I just want to make sure you realize the seriousness of the situation here. If his uncle really is hurting him, you're not going to be able to approach him about it, and you certainly can't approach his uncle about it. You said that Yamato said he can't tell you. Not won't. That he wants to tell you. Right?"

I nodded.

"Then there has to be a very good reason why he can't tell you. If his uncle is hurting him, and doesn't want him to tell anyone, what's the most effective way you can think of to make him not tell?"

"I don't know."

We sat there for a moment thinking of how Yamato could be silenced. It was sort of hard. Yamato was very stubborn, and he didn't take being used lightly. If someone was doing something he hated, or that was wrong, he would surely speak up against the person. But he said he _can't_...

My eyes widened as I suddenly realized the one way to completely silence Yamato; I looked at Koushiro. As one, we said, "Takeru!"

"Of course." I felt stupid. "Yamato cares about Takeru more than anything in this world. If his uncle was threatening to hurt Takeru in some kind of way-"

"-he'd never say a word about whatever was going on," Koushiro finished up.

We stared at each other in stunned shock. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it sooner. Without a doubt, I knew that this was what was going on. Yamato's uncle was hitting him, and was threatening him with Takeru to keep him silent.

"Maybe if we sent Takeru somewhere..?"

"Don't think that'd work, Tai. His uncle would probably get suspicious, or angry, and maybe hurt Yamato worse."

"But at least then Yamato could tell us about it without worrying about what might happen to Takeru."

"Not if his uncle ended up killing him."

"Dammit!" I banged my fist down on the table in frustration, tipping both my empty coke can and Kou's half-empty glass of water over. I didn't care, and Koushiro just silently righted his cup and went to get a towel in which to wipe the water up with. "Isn't there anything we can do?"

He looked pained. "Like I said before, we're just going to have to be patient and wait for Yamato to come to you."

"That's not fair..." I whispered.

"No one ever said life was fair, Taichi."

"I hate that damn cliche," I grumbled.

"Sorry."

-+-+-+

"Why are you so happy?" he asked, glaring at me.

"I-I'm not oji," I said fearfully. "Really, I'm not." Whatever happened, he absolutely could not find out about Taichi. I didn't want to have to worry about him and Takeru both.

He reached out and slapped me across the face, sending me sprawling to the floor from the force of the blow. "Don't even give me that shit, boy. I know a happy person when I see one. Now, I'll ask you again. What are you so happy about?"

"I'm not happy!" I cried. "I'm not happy one bit! How can I be, with you hitting me and raping me all the time!" I winced as soon as the words left my mouth. Major mistake there.

"Rape?" he hissed. "You think that what I do to you is rape? Boy, you don't even know the meaning of the word 'rape'! But, since you've brought it up, I'll be happy to enlighten you as to the meaning..."

"No!" I cried. "Please," I pleaded. "I'm sorry! Don't hurt me, oji, please don't hurt me!"

He wasn't listening, and I felt myself being lifted and carried to my bedroom, where I was roughly thrown on the bed. He begin removing my clothes, not caring when he ripped them. His own clothes were next.

"No!" I screamed in terror, convinced he was going to hurt me worse than he ever had before. "No! I'm sorry Oji! Don't! Please don't!" I was crying and screaming, drowning in my own terrified emotions. "Oh God, please.."

And then he was in me in one quick thrust, and I screamed again, screamed at the intense pain of it all. Never in my life had I felt such pain as this. Every time he'd used me before, he'd at least taken the care to be gentle and slow. He begin thrusting in and out, rough and fast, and I felt like a knife was up there in me, tearing my insides to pieces. It hurt bad, hurt so much it took my breath away. I couldn't even scream anymore, or cry, or talk.

"I'll show you what rape really is, you little bastard," he grunted as he continued to thrust. "You asked for it. Now you'll know the difference between rape and non-consensual sex. How does it feel, huh? Don't like it, do you?" He hit me in the back. "Answer me!"

"N-no.." I wheezed out. "Hurts.. bad.. please stop.."

He merely ignored my plea and continued to have his fun. Then he gave a sort of shuddering jerk, and I felt his body relax against mine, and I knew he'd just came inside me. He'd never actually done that before. He'd always worn a condom.

He pulled out of me then, and, after redressing, left me alone in the room. A few moments later I heard the front door slam and his car starting up.

And then I did allow myself to cry, trying not to focus on the intense pain I was currently feeling. _For Taichi, it's for Taichi, to protect him_, I thought. _Just remember that._ Somehow it was a little hard to do.

_Oh God, he raped me, he _really _raped me bad, it hurts, Taichi I need you.._

I didn't stop to consider the consequences. I suppose I should have, but I just couldn't. Fumbling for the phone, my hand managed to find it and lift it up. Slowly, painstakingly, I dialed Taichi's number, getting it right on the first try.

It was picked up by Hikari on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Taichi.." I croaked out, trying to form coherent words through the haze of pain. "Wanna talk.."

"Who is this?" she asked, sounding concerned.

"Yamato. Please.."

"Sure, right away," she said. Some moments later I heard what sounded like a door being pushed open, and then she said in this worried tone, "Taichi, Yamato's on the phone."

"Thanks. Hello? Yamato?"

"Taichi," I said in that same horrible voice.

"Jesus Yamato, are you okay! You sound awful. Are you sick?"

"Sick of living.. Come and get me, please. And hurry."

"Sure, sure, I'll be right over. I'll get my mom to drive me. What's the address?"

I told him, and he repeated it.

"Okay, I got it. You sit tight, okay?"

I didn't respond , just hung up the phone and waited for him. I tried to get cleaned up, and get some clothes on, but I couldn't seem to move my legs. So I just lay there for I don't know how long, until I heard Taichi's voice.

"Oh my God..." he breathed in horror. "Yamato..."

I felt myself start to tear up. "Taichi... I need you..."

He nodded, putting his hand over his mouth, trying not to cry. "I'm here Yamato." He came over and patted my head gently. "I'm here for you."

I passed out.

Chapter 4 _finale_


	6. Need

Disclaimer: Toei's.

**Bleed**  
by: _butterflie_  
Chapter 5:Need

When I woke, I was in the Yagami's apartment, lying in Taichi's bed. Taichi was sitting on a chair next to me, holding my hand and looking quite relieved to see me blink open my eyes.

"There you are," he said. "I was beginning to think you'd sleep all night."

I smiled softly. "Thanks. I didn't mean to worry you."

He returned the smile. "It's okay," he reassured me. "You're forgiven."

There was a knock at the door. "Taichi?"

"Come in, okaasan! Yamato's awake!"

"Did she.. see me.." _like that_, my mind wanted to finish.

He nodded quietly as his mother entered. I closed my eyes, the embarrassment momentarily overriding the fear that I was finally found out.

"Hello Yamato," she greeted me gently. "Good to see you back among the land of the living."

"Sorry to be such a bother," I murmured.

"Oh, it's no bother. Just glad you're safe."

I acknowledged that, then looked at Taichi. "My uncle.. I don't have to go back tonigt, do I?" I could make up an excuse for him later. I'd pay for it dearly, but I was hurting way too much to handle another night of his 'fun'.

Taichi shook his head, wiping away a few tears gathering in his eyes. "No, you don't have to go back tonight," he said huskily. "You can stay here. It will be okay."

"Is there some way to reach your father, Yamato?" Mrs. Yagami asked.

"What?" I gave her a panicked look. "You can't call him!"

"I think he needs to know," she said firmly. "Whatever was going on needs to stop, and your father needs to know."

"No, I'll be okay, really. I only have a little over a week.. You can't tell him."

"Yamato, I know that if it were Taichi in your place, as a parent, I'd want to know. I'm sure your father doesn't want you getting hurt. Why don't you want to tell him?"

"Because of Takeru," I sniffed.

"Oh God," Taichi moaned. "I was right.."

I looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"I.. I was talking with Koushiro earlier today. I told him I thought maybe your uncle was hitting you, that that was why you had the bruise, and why you were limping.. We figured the only reason you said you couldn't tell was because he was threatening you with Takeru in some way."

"He said he'd kill Takeru if I told," I whispered. "I wanted to tell you so bad, Taichi, but I was so afraid for Takeru.. I still am. He can't find out you know. I'll just have to go back tomorrow and make some excuse."

"Regardless, your father still needs to be called," Mrs. Yagami said to me. She was so persistent. "If you don't want to do anything about your uncle, your father can always tell him he just got back early. Your uncle never has to know you told. Now, what's the number?"

Resigned, I rattled off the number my father had given me and told me to use only in the case of extreme emergencies. But if this didn't constitute as an emergency, I don't know what did.

Mrs. Yagami thanked me, then went out to the phone in the hall and dialed the number. After some minutes, she began talking, and I could hear her explaining to my father the little she knew.

Taichi leaned down and kissed my forehead softly, smoothing back my hair. "Everything will work out okay, don't worry. I love you, Yamato."

I smiled at hearing that. We hadn't really had a chance to talk more about that, but I suppose now there wasn't really a need to. We both knew how we felt. "I love you too, Taichi," I said softly. "I'm just so scared... I don't want anything to happen to Takeru.."

Mrs. Yagami came back into the room, holding the phone in her hand. "Your father wants to talk to you," she said gently, carefully helping me sit up and handing me the phone. She motioned for Taichi to leave the room, and he did so reluctantly. They shut the door, giving me privacy, for which I was thankful.

"Otousan?" I asked shakily into the phone. He knew now... there was no turning back. No matter what, there was nothing I could do to change the fact that he knew.

"Yamato?" he said. I could tell from the sound of his voice he'd been crying. "Yamato. are you alright?"

"No," I sniffed, starting to cry again. I'd been doing that a lot lately. "It hurts 'tousan..."

"I'm sorry," he choked. "I'm so sorry. If I had known, I wouldn't have left you with him. Why didn't you tell me?"

"He said.. said he'd kill Takeru.."

I heard his sharp intake of breath. Apparently Mrs. Yagami hadn't told him that little bit. "I'm sorry, Otousan. Come home, please.."

"I will. I can be home Friday morning. I wish I could get there earlier.. but the planes don't fly here on Thursdays.."

"I don't care. Just come home. It hurts so much.. He hurt me a lot, Otousan."

"I'm so sorry," he murmured. "We'll talk about this when I get there, okay?"

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Okay. I'm sorry I didn't say.."

"It's alright. What's done is done," he sounded a bit calmer now, "we'll figure everything out Friday. Just stay at Taichi's until I get there Friday."

"I can't.." I said. "He'll suspect something. I have to go back tomorrow..."

"Jesus," he whispered. "Be careful then. I love you Yamato."

"Love you too Otousan," I managed to get out, surprised. I couldn't recall the last time dad had said that to me. I was real little, I knew.

"I need to talk to Mrs. Yagami some more, will you give her the phone?"

"'k. Taichi!" I called.

He appeared almost right away. I handed him the phone. "Give this to your mother. 'tousan wants to talk to her again."

He disappeared and came back a few moments later, sans phone. He sat down on the bed next to me. "Are you alright?" he asked. "With your dad knowing, I mean?"

I studied the blanket, curling my fingers tightly around it. "I don't know.. on one hand, I'm relieved I don't have to keep it secret anymore, but on the other hand, I'm afraid Oji will find out I told on him.." I laughed bitterly. "Mou! I make it sound like I'm tattling."

He laughed with me. "Well I suppose you are in a way."

He grew quiet; for awhile neither of us spoke. The only sounds to be heard were his mother on the phone in the hallway, and somewhere in the apartment his dad was laughing, presumably at some television show. That made me think.

"Does your dad know?"

"No. He knows you're here, and that something's wrong, but he doesn't know what."

"Oh."

Silence again.

Then Taichi spoke, sounded uncertain. "Today.. what your uncle did.. was that a first time thing?"

I sighed, I knew it would have come sooner or later. All the questions. "Yes and no."

"I don't get it."

"It was the first time.. it ever hurt so much.. the first time he was intetntionally hurting me. He said, well, he said that what he was doing today was rape, and what he'd done before was just non-consensual sex."

"Why? Why did he do that today?"

I looked away. "I sort of.. provoked him accidentally. Said something about him always hitting me and raping me.. He lost it, said he'd 'show me what rape really is'.. it hurt a lot. I could barely breathe. That's why I sounded so funny when I called."

"Why _did_ you call?"

I looked him straight in the eye. "Because I was thinking about what you said, that night in the park, and I knew how much I really needed you. I was sick of keeping the secret. I didn't really stop to think about it, I just picked up the phone and did it. Called you."

"I'm glad you did," he replied. "So then, all those bruises on your body, he did that?"

A nod. "Yeah. When he didn't like what I was saying, or when he got mad, or if I tried to avoid him at night when he came into my room.. he'd hit me. I was limping because yesterday he kicked me around a lot."

"And.. the first time? That week you stayed there before? He hurt you then too?"

"The third night I was there, he came into my room and used me.. he did it every night until I went back home. I felt so dirty, so impure after it happened.. I stayed home because I didn't want to taint anyone at school. But it just didn't go away.. The feeling's still there, actually," I said, rubbing at my skin.

Taichi watched me, seemingly impassionately. "I'm sorry," he said at last.

"Are you... mad at me?"

"Mad at you?" Taichi's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Why should I be mad at you?"

"Don' know.." I said vaguely. "For.. for .. I don't know.. not sayin' an' stuff.."

"Of course not! I'm just glad I finally know. Maybe now I can help you.."

"I don't know if I can be helped," I sniffed. "I've been ruined.. broken.. tainted. I'm full of sin now. In fact, I don't even know why you'd want to be with me.." I said in despair. But really, I was "damaged goods" now. Why would Taichi want someone like me when he could have someone who was still innocent, still pure?

"Don't even start that crap, Yamato," he said, sounding slightly angry. "I don't care if you're "ruined" or not. I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you, and that's enough for me. Okay?"

"Okay..."

He stood up, and helped me lay back down. "Look, you must be exhausted, and I'm sure you probably don't feel well. Why don't you try to get some more sleep?"

I nodded; I had been feeling kind of tired, really. And all the fear and worry was starting to catch up with me; I could barely keep my eyes open now that Taichi had said that. "'k.."

As my eyes fluttered closed, I heard him open the door and then shut it back behind him. And then I was aware of nothing but darkness.

-+-+-+

After making sure that Yamato was sleeping soundly, I went into the kitchen, where mom was currently cooking something. I think she finds it therapuetic. "How is he?" she asked me.

"He's sleeping right now. He's still pretty upset.."

"He'll start improving some once he knows he and his brother are safe."

"Yeah, but he'll still have to live with what happened for the rest of his life.."

She smiled reassurance at me. "I'm sure his father will get him all the help he'll need to go on with his life."

"I wish his father was here right now, he'd probably know what to do better than I do. I feel so helpless."

"I'm sure you've helped him a lot, baby. His father is getting here as fast as he can."

"When is that?" Incidentally, I had no idea when Yama's dad was supposed to show up. Yamato hadn't said.

"He's supposed to be here Friday morning."

"What!" I screeched. "Friday! Why so late?"

"Apparently planes don't fly where he's at on Thursdays."

"You mean Yamato has to go back to his uncle?"

"Unfortunately, yes. It's just one night, though."

"Yeah, one night for his uncle to abuse him as much as possible," I said bitterly. "Can't he just stay here?" Then I remembered. "Oh wait, Takeru.." I felt my eyes gather with tears. "It's just not fair, okaasan.."

She put down whatever food she was messing and came over to hug me. "It'll be okay, Taichi, really it will.."

I'd said the same thing to Yamato, but somehow, it just didn't seem true when my mom said it. "I really hope so."

About midnight, I was woken by the sound of Yamato's shrill scream. I sat bolt upright in bed. Terrified at what might be wrong with him, I tried to climb down but ended up getting tangled in the covers and falling. I landed with a loud thud, and scrambled up quickly, going over to him.

"Yamato, Yamato, wake up!" I shook him a few times, trying to wake him.

"Taichi?" he said as he opened his eyes.

I sighed in relief. "It's okay, Yama, it's okay now, I'm here.."

He burst out crying. I pulled him close in a tight hug and began to rub his back gently. "Shh.. it's okay now, you're safe, you're alright.."

"Taichi," he sobbed again. "'m sorry.."

"Shh, don't apologize, it's okay."

Just then my mother stuck her head in the door. "Is everything okay, boys?" she questioned worriedly.

I looked towards her voice, barely able to see her in the dark. "It's okay, okaasan. Just a nightmare, go back to sleep."

"Okay," she said, still sounding worried. "Your father and I will be down the hall if you need us."

"Thanks," I replied as she left. I turned my attention back to the crying blond in my arms. "So what was it?" I asked.

"I dreamed.. dreamed that he knew I told, and that he had Takeru... and that he, he.." he stopped, unable to go on for crying too hard.

"Oh Yama," I sighed softly. "I'm sorry. It was just a dream.. it will be alright.."

I held him until long after his sobs had subsided and he was calm; he started to fall asleep in my arms.

"Taichi," he mumbled sleepily.

"Hmm?"

"You say everything's going to be alright.."

"It will be, Yama, you'll see.."

"But what if it isn't? What if you're wrong?"

I didn't have an answer for that, and eventually the steady sound of his even breathing told me he'd fallen asleep. Gently, I lay down on the bed, him still in my arms. I fell asleep like that some time later.

Some hours later, I was woken by the gentle click of my bedroom door.

"Taichi?" mom said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Were you boys planning on going to school today?"

"Well..." I hesitated for a moment. Was she asking because she wanted me to go, or because she didn't want me to go? "I don't think it's a good idea, 'kaasan," I said at last. "Yamato's not really in any shape to go, and he doesn't have his school uniform with him anyways."

"Good," she replied, and the relief was evident in her voice. "I didn't want you boys going either. Sorry to disturb you, then. Go back to sleep."

"Okay," I said as she shut the door. I snuggled up closer to Yamato, who'd slept through the little exchange, and closed my eyes in sleep once more.

-+-+-+

_Thursday afternoon_

When I woke up, feeling more rested than I'd felt in a long time, I was somewhat surprised to find Taichi's arms wrapped around me and him pressed up close next to me. I blinked, confused. Why was Taichi down here with me? I know he was up top last night... And then a small part of last night floated back to me. _Oh yeah... that nightmare..._

Carefully, I disentangled myself from Taichi (who was still sleeping-how does he do that!) and left the room. I shuffled into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Then I stripped, expecting my body gently. My eyes filled with tears at what I saw, but determindedly I wiped them away. _I can't believe just one man could do all this to me..._

_Though, at least I only have one more night to live through. Cos Friday Otousan will be here... and he knows._

I still had mixed feelings about that. Hell, I had mixed feelings about anyone knowing, really. I had planned to keep it secret until the day I died, if only for Takeru. I hope Taichi's right about things being okay.. if he got killed, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

Sighing, I turned on the shower and climbed in. The water stung against my skin, and I winced and turned it down. It still hurt. Guess it was going to hurt no matter what.

I showered quickly, and then when I got out, felt a brief momemnt of stupidity. _What am I going to wear, I didn't bring anything.._

Shrugging, I pulled on the clothes I'd worn in, and then set about fixing my hair just so, something I hadn't done in a long time. It was comforting, in an odd sort of way.

I left the bathroom when I was finished, and headed back to Taichi's room. He still was sleeping when I got in, and I decided not to wake him. He'd had just as hard a night as me. I went through his clothes silently, looking for something that might fit me. I was a bit taller than Taichi, but I managed to find an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts that looked to be too big for him. I pulled those on, and then left Tai alone, heading into his kitchen, suddenly finding myself starving.

Mrs. Yagami was there at the stove, frying some bacon, and the smell of it made my mouth water.

She must have heard me come in, she turned around and smiled at me. "Good afternoon Yamato, Taichi up yet?"

"I shook my head. "No, still sleeping." _Afternoon?_ "Uhh.. Mrs. Yagami? What time is it?"

She smiled again. "It's about one. If that was you I heard in the shower, you've been up about thirty minutes."

I blinked. "Wow," I said in surprise. She laughed and turned back to the bacon. "I don't usually sleep that late..." I went and sat down at the table.

"You probably needed it."

I didn't respond, just sat quietly for a few moments as she continued her cooking that was, for once, completely normal.

"Mrs. Yagami?" I spoke up again at length.

"Yes?"

"You talked to my father last night. Is.. is he mad at me?"

"No dear, of course not. Why should he be?"

"Oh," I said, only somewhat relieved. "I thought he might be, for never saying anything.."

"Are you still going on about that?"

Mrs. Yagami and I turned towards the doorway as one.

"Afternoon, Taichi," she greeted her son.

I looked at him him briefly, then looked away again. He walked over to me and pulled up a chair. "Yama, I told you before, no one's mad that you didn't say anything. We understand why, okay? We're not mad."

I shrugged, a few helpless tears making their trek down the sides of my face. "Feels like you should be."

He reached out and hugged me, just for a moment. "Well, we're not. Okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

"Good. Now, I'm starved. Is that ready yet, okaasan?"

I laughed, shocking myself.

Mrs. Yagami looked at us, smiling warmly. She was such a cheerful person, I never realized it before. "Just finished," she said happily as she brought us plates of bacon and waffles. She set them down in front us. "Here you go boys, an all-American breakfast!"

"Thanks," we said, and dug in.

"I'll have to to go back soon," I said softly.

"I know," he replied, just as softly.

We were sitting in his room, having just finished breakfast some time before. We were on his bed, backs against the wall. Well, actually, his back was against the wall, my back was against his chest. His arms were wrapped around me as tightly as he dared, and I took comfort in his presence.

"I don't want to go back," I told him.

"I don't want you to either."

"But I have to. Oji will supsect something if I don't.. Hell, he probably already does.. I should have just went back last night, not called 'touan..."

"Do you regret telling us, Yama? Do you regret that phone call?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully, sighing. "I'm just so mixed up right now.."

"Don't regret it," he begged me. "Whatever you do, or feel, and whatever happens between now and Friday, please, just... it was worth it, okay?"

"How can you decide that? It's for me to decide, Taichi..."

"If it saves you from being abused by your uncle, it's definitely worth it, Yama. No matter what."

"Even if I or Takeru die?" I ask him steadily.

That shut him up for a bit. "No one's going to be doing any dying," he said at last.

"You can't promise that. You don't know what will happen. And tell me--if I die, would it have been worth it? To have told? When I could have kept quiet, endured for another week, and lived?"

"It would have been worth it."

"Why? _Why_, Taichi?"

"Because at least I'd know I did everything in my power to help you, and that your death wouldn't have been my fault, that it wasn't all for nothing. But you're not going to die."

I ignored the last part. "And Takeru?"

"Takeru's not dying either. Why are you being so morbid?"

"Because I have to know, Taichi! Because I just have this feeling that one of us isn't going to come out of this alive!"

His arms tightened around me a bit.

"If Takeru died, it'd still be worth it," he said, his voice sounding husky. "It will always be worth it, no matter what." I felt something wet hit the back of my neck as I spoke, and when I turned around, I saw he was crying.

"Taichi!" I think it was actually the first time I'd seen him cry throughout this whole ordeal.

"Sorry.." He wiped his eyes, momentarily letting go of me. "Sorry," he said again, sniffing. "Don't know what came over me.."

"It's okay," I assured him. "Nothing I haven't been doing anyways.."

He laughed shakily, putting his arms back around me. "That's true."

We stayed there that way for awhile, not speaking, not needing to. What we really needed to be doing was heading to my apartment so I could pick up a uniform so Oji would think I'd went to school. But going meant acknowledging that soon I'd be going back to Oji's, and neither of us was ready to do that yet. So we sat there, putting it off, taking solace in each other's presence.

Eventually Mrs. Yagami knocked at Taichi's door. "Boys? Shouldn't you be going now?"

She didn't sound particularly anxious for us to go, either, but all three of us knew it had to be done if there was ever any chance of Takeru and I coming out of this alive. And if I had my way, Takeru would never know about this. Though he may be a Takaishi in name, he still has the famous Ishida temper, and I don't want him getting wind of what happened and going off half-cocked, intent on making our uncle pay for what he did to me. And it's something that Takeru would totally be apt to do, too.

I pulled away from Taichi and looked at him. "Guess we'd better going, huh?"

He nodded. "Guess so."

The walk to my apartment was spent in silence. I felt like a death-row prisoner walking my final mile. From the look on his face, I'd say Taichi's feelings weren't far off from my own.

"You okay?" I asked as I fumbled in my pockets for my key while we stood in front of the door.

"Yeah. Just a little scared," he conceded.

I smiled, just a bit. "Yeah, me too. A lot scared."

I managed to get the door open, and we went in, not even bothering to kick off our shoes. Time was precious, and short. Why bother with formalities now?

We headed back to my room, and I got out my shirt and blazer, exchanging Taichi's oversized T-shirt for them. I got my pants on next, and when I was done looked at Taichi. He handed me my school bag, which thankfully they'd remembered yesterday when they brought me to their apartment. I took a deep breath.

"Guess we'd better go."

"Un." He didn't say anything else, and didn't even focus his eyes on me. I touched his arm, held my gaze on him until he looked up.

"You said it yourself, Taichi. You promised me. Things will be okay." I tried to give him a big smile.

"Maybe I shouldn't have made that promise," he whispered, frowning.

"Well it's too late now. You can't back out. You promised me, okay? And now I'm promising you. Things will be okay, hear?"

He nodded, and suddenly tears were rolling out of his eyes at an amazing speed. I sighed and pulled him close in a tight hug, holdin him against me tightly for a few moments. I felt his tears wetting my blazer, but I didn't care. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I returned.

"Come back, okay? I couldn't bear it if I had to live without you."

"That sentence is enough to make me come back," I told him grinning, but still totally honest in my feelings.

He laughed through his tears. "Baka," he said affectionately. He straightened and wiped away the tears. "Come on, let's go."

-+-+-+

The walk to his uncle's house was spent the same way as the walk to his apartment: in silence. I didn't know about him, but I was way too worried to bother with talking right now.

I know I promised him things would turn out alright, but what if they didn't? What if his uncle somehow found out that he told me and my mother? And his father? What if he got Takeru, and hurt him the same way he hurt Yamato, or even worse? What if he killed one of them? I know I said it'd would have been worth Yamato telling even if one of them died, but would it really? I'd blame myself for it, no matter what. Even knowing I'd done everything I could wouldn't make it better. And speaking of which, was it really wise to send Yamato back to his uncle's? He said it'd be better so as not to rouse his uncle's suspicion, but I hate the idea of sending him back into the enemy's lair, so to say. Maybe it'd be better if we got Takeru and just ran like hell until father got in. We could run to Ken's place in Tamachi or something. But no, then his uncle would definitely know, and even when their father came home, they still wouldn't be safe... I guess what we were doing was the best course of action. Still didn't feel like it.

"You're awfully silent."

"Just thinking." I offered a half-smile.

"Does it hurt?" he teased. "You do it so little, I don't want you to over-exert yourself.."

"Shut-up," I replied good-naturedly, thankful he was doin his best to maintain some normalcy.

Suddenly he stopped and tensed. I knew it could only mean one thing. "We're here?"

He nodded. "Yeah," his voice was barely audible.

He looked at me. "Whatever happens... I love you. And I'll do my damnedest to make sure everything comes out okay."

I leaned over and kissed him lightly, teasingly, on the lips. His hands clutched at my shirt and pulled me in closer as he kissed me back, passionately. I responded, and for a moment we stayed like that, lips interlocked. I moaned as his tongue sought entrance, trying to pull him even closer than he already was, closer than humanly possible.

At last we broke apart, slightly flushed, gasping for breath. "I love you back," I choked out. "More than anything else. Be safe."

He didn't bother gracing me with a reply, just gave me a last quick hug and turned and began walking down the street.

I stood there watching him, still feelings his lips on mine, trying to shake that persistent feeling that I was making a big, big mistake here.

-+-+-+

_Somewhere in the Yagami household, about 4:30 pm._

_ri-n, ri-n_

"Hello, Yagami residence, Hikari speaking."

"Hikari? This is Ms. Takaishi. Is Takeru still there with you?"

"No, I'm sorry Ms. Takaishi, he left about an hour ago. He's not home?"

"No. Though he did say something about seeing Daisuke today.. That's most likely where he is. Sorry to worry you, dear."

"No problem. And when he gets in, will you have him call me? He left a school book here, and he'll probably need it."

"Sure thing. Goodbye, Hikari."

"Goodbye, Ms. Takaishi."

_Click._

Chapter 5 _finale_


	7. In Frantic Desperation

Disclaimer: Toei's.

Author's Notes: Warnings: violence, death, angst, abuse, rape, language. Oh, and to Takato the Dreamer - I love cliffhangers. grins They're the best places to halt a story! And, thanks to: Luna Wolf, Burned Vamp, Violette Mai, eugene, Takato the Dreamer, Kami9, nEo-cHaN, bullet tooth tony, and kaiya5 for reviewing this story. Your reviews were very interesting to read, I loved all the different opinions. Also, a special thanks to yamatoforever for keeping up with every story I've posted since Untold Secrets. You're my #1 reviewer!

**Bleed**  
by: _butterflie_  
Chapter 6:In Frantic Desperation

I cautiously entered my uncle's house, unnerved by the silence that didn't sound quite natural.

"Oji?" I called fearfully. Perhaps it might have been better to just search him out, but if he was here, he would have heard me come in and would have not been happy if I didn't say anything.

"Oji, Tadaima," I tried again, still without success. I moved through the house slowly, checking all the rooms, leaving mine for last because it was at the back of the house.

"Oji?" I said once more, and then this I detected a faint tremble in my voice. I was scared. Oh boy, I was scared.

But then again, maybe I'd gotten lucky. Maybe my uncle had never come home last night. Maybe he was still out at wherever it was he always goes after he goes in a rage. Maybe he'd never known that I'd left the house at all, maybe he'll come home and think I was here all night and only left for school. Or maybe he just came home sometime earlier today and assumed I was in school. I can only hope he didn't check.

As I neared my room, I slowed down and tried to listen, wondering maybe I'd pick up on faint sounds that would give me a clue. I heard nothing. My hope rising, and starting to feel confident that my uncle wasn't here, I pushed open the door.

-+-+-+

"Please! I'm desperate! I have to get back to Odaiba! Can't you just give me a ride? I'll pay you whatever it takes!"

The man just looked at him and sat there complacently chewing on some tobacco. "I didn't understand," he said in English.

Masaharu groaned and smacked his forehead. He pointed to the plane behind the man, still on the runway. Then he pointed to himself and back to the plane. "Puriisu.." he tried in broken english. "Mii... niido raido. pureein."

"Prayin'?" the man asked.

Frantically he pointed to the plane again. "Pureein! Raido! Mii!" _Oh God Yamato.. I'm coming as fast as I can. Hold on, okay? Give me strength._

"Playin'?"

-+-+-+

The ticking of the clock didn't seem right. It gave the atmosphere an ominous quality, one that left me feeling distinctinly uneasy. For the millionth time, I paused the video game and looked back at my clock. It was 4:30, barely an hour since I'd left Yamato. I wondered if he was okay. I certainly hoped so. I wished I could go over there and protect him from his uncle, but I knew it wasn't practical.

I heard the phone rang, and my heart leaped. _Yamato?_

But it didn't ring again, and no one called for me. I sighed somewhat dejectedly and unpaused my game, pressing the buttons listlessly. I didn't even care when I finally beat the Giant Cactuar, a GF I'd been trying to get for ages. Who could focus on video games when they'd just sent the one they loved into eminent danger? Certainly not me. Sighing again, I climbed back into Ragnarok and set out for Dallet, where I quickly saved and shut the ps2 console off. I wasn't in the mood for video games, not even Final Fantasy ones.

_Maybe I'll draw... that should toke my mind off Yama._

I loved to draw. It was a great talent that I'd spent years refining; unfortunately, no one knew about it. I kept it secret, afraid of being laughed at. But sometimes I wished someone knew so I could brag about my latest piece of art. _Perhaps I'll show Yama tomorrow, after all this is thankfully over..._

I pulled out the pencils I used for my art, and dragged out my sketchpad from where I'd hidden it under my bed. I flipped the pad to a clean page and started doing a sketch of Yamato as I'd seen him yesterday when I walked into his uncle's house. You may wonder how I could I stand to do something so cruel and violent, and draw him as he was so violated, but the truth was that the image was forever burned into my brain, and getting it onto paper would at least help me cope some with how I felt about it. I hadn't really had a chance to yet, I'd been too busy taking care of Yama.

My lines were quick and sure, and after awhile an image of Yamato begin to form on the paper. Still, it didn't feel right. I wasn't really concentrating, and too, that damned clock was really unnerving me.

"Argh!" I finally cried in frustration, tossing down my pencil. It snapped in half, and I sighed. "Damn." I closed my sketchpad and shoved it back under my bed.

"I wonder if Koushiro is home?"

About thirty minutes later found me being welcomed into Koushiro's apartment.

"Where're your parents?" I asked.

"They went out for dinner. They wanted to take me, but I said I was busy. So we're by ourselves. Have you eaten yet?"

I shook my head. "No, but don't worry about it, I'm not really hungry."

He didn't bother to tease me; Koushiro always could tell when I was seriously bothered by something, and given my worries as of late, he had a pretty good idea of what it was.

"Well, _I'm_ hungry, so if you don't mind, I'll fix something before we talk about whatever it is you need to unload."

I smiled a bit. "Sorry. I know you must get sick of listening to me whine all the time."

"I don't mind, really. And Yamato's my friend too, I worry about him just like you do, just not to the same degree." 

"Yeah. I know. But still.."

"Really, Tai, it's okay," he said, trying to placate me. I followed him to the kitchen, where he'd apparently been frying some rice in the wok.

"Oh, I didn't make you burn it, did I?' I exclaimed.

He stirred it, replying, "No, it's okay. I had it turned down low."

I pulled a seat out at his table and sat there, elbows propped on the table, head resting against my hands, watching him while he cooked his rice. We stayed that way in silence for a bit. Eventually he took the heat off the wok and took a bowl from the cabinet, pausing. "Sure you don't want any?"

I shook my head once more. "No, but thanks anyways Kou."

He shrugged and began scooping rice into his bowl. He got a pair of chopsticks out and sat down next to me.

"Itadakimasu," he said, and began to eat. I raised my eyebrows as I watched him. He was eating almost as fast as I do!

"Hungry, are we?" I remarked.

"Well, if somebody hadn't been skipping school, he would have known I didn't get lunch today. Or breakfast, for that matter."

"I wasn't skipping. Both my mother and I thought it better if we didn't go."

"We who? I know Hikari was there, I saw her."

"Yamato and me."

He took the last few bites and shoved the empty bowl aside, chopsticks laid across. Awfully fast.

"So what happened?" he asked. "I was actually worried when I didn't see either of you guys today. Did he finally tell you what was going on?"

"Sorta.. I was right, you know, about his uncle hitting him."

Koushiro winced. "Even though I knew it was likely, I'd kind of hoped you would be wrong."

"Yeah, but there's more.." I trailed off, slightly uncomfortable. "His uncle has been .. well, raping him too."

This time he paled and sucked in a deep breath. "Jesus. Is he okay? How did you find all this out, if he didn't tell tell you?"

Quickly, I went on to describe how Yamato had called me and how I'd found him when I'd got to his uncle's house. "It was pretty bad, Kou. He stayed at my house the night, but he went back today. He said his uncle was threatening to kill Takeru if he told."

"So we were right about that then," he said softly.

I bit my lip, nodded. "Yeah, we were," I said miserably. "And the thing is, we're not really sure if his uncle will believe him when he says he didn't tell. We're only hoping. All he needs is to survive this night, and then things will be okay."

"I thought he had to stay another week."

"Well, he was supposed to, but my mother called his father, and he's coming in tomorrow."

"That's good then! Why are you so worried?"

I frowned. "Something doesn't feel right, Koushiro. It should, but... ever since I left him there at the corner, I've felt wrong somehow. Like I'm making a big mistake by letting him go. I promised him things would be okay, but I feel like they won't be.. like someone won't be coming out of this alive, as if it's not a simple matter of him just living through one more night of being raped and beaten. There's.. something more.. I just sense it."

The redhead stood and walked into the living room. He was quiet for a bit, then, "Isn't there anything we can do to help him?"

I swallowed, and when I spoke, my voice was thick. "I've thought about it so much... thought about so many different things.. but dammit, I can't do a one of them without putting Takeru's life in extreme danger."

He came back in then, and his face was wet with crying. "There has to be something, Taichi.."

"I don't know what.. I feel so helpless still, I really do. Even knowing the problem with Yamato doesn't let me help him.."

"So you mean we just have to sit here until tomorrow, waiting for some word that he's alright?"

"You got a better idea? One that will keep everyone safe?"

He sank back down into his chair, shoulders slumped. "No.. for once, my mind is a complete blank. I'm lost, I admit it.. this is out my depth, Taichi.."

"Mine too.." I sighed. "We just sit here... and wait."

-+-+-+

I pushed open the door.

I didn't see anything, not at first, and I was relieved, thinking I was alone in the house. Then I heard a small, familiar, whimper, and my heart dropped like a stone.

I went further into the room, and briefly closed my eyes at the sight I saw, trying not to cry.

Takeru was sitting on the bed, looking trussed up. He had a black eye and a bunch of bruises visible all over his arms. Fresh blood was dripping down his noise, and there was more blood on his shirt, dried and drying. But he was still clothed, and he didn't look as if my uncle had gotten his hands on him in that way, something I was eternally thankful for.

I licked my lips. I wasn't sure who to address first, my uncle or Takeru. If I addressed Takeru first, my uncle was likely to get pissed and smack me. But then again, he already had Takeru, how much worse could things get? Might as well be reckless.

A word of advice: Never think things are at the worst. You'll quickly find how true that is not.

"Takeru.." I spoke softly. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, but even as he opened his mouth to speak, my uncle smacked him across the face. "Shutup! I told you not to speak!" He turned towards me. "And you! How dare you favor him and ignore me! I'm your elder, and you will show me the respect I deserve!"

"I'm sorry, Oji," I said automatically, though I wasn't really. I'd needed to let Takeru know things would be okay, and if I backed down to my uncle, he'd never believe it.

He stood up from the chair he'd placed next to the bed, and stalked over to me. Reaching out, he smacked me across the face as well, though much harder than he'd hit Takeru. I staggered back some but held my ground, glaring at him.

"Why do you have Takeru?" I asked him. "You promised."

"You told," he said. And smacked me again. Still I held firm. "You-fuckin-told-you-little-lying-whore!" Each word was accompanied by a hard punch to the face. Coming right after one another, I didn't have a chance. The last one knocked me to the ground. I heard Takeru cry out and cry "'niichan!" but luckily my uncle ignored him in favor of kicking me.

"Didn't I tell you not to tell dammit? You stupid little shit! What the hell did you think you were doing? Do you _want_ your brother to die! Goddamn you to hell?"

"I didn't tell!" I cried out, all my courage fleeing at the mention of killing Takeru. "I never told, I swear!"

"You lying fucker! I know you told, don't tell me otherwise!" He kicked at me some more, then quit to go back and continue his vigilance besides Takeru.

I stood up on weak legs, blood running down my face and arms where some of his kicks had landed. "I never told," I said, ignoring the pain my body was trying to inform me about. "Really, Oji, I didn't tell.."

His face darkened. "Yes you did, I know you did. I have proof."

I barely had time to wonder about that before he pulled out a knife from the drawer in the bedside table. I flinched at the sharp looking blade, suddenly scared. What was he planning on doing with that? If he killed Takeru..

I didn't even have time to finish my thought. Taking the knife, he ran it down my brother's chest. His T-shirt fell back in half, held up only by being trapped between his back and the bed headboard. Where the knife had ran, a vertical line of crimson welled up.

I felt like I was going to be sick. "No!"

He laughed maliciously, and ran the knife down the length of both of Takeru's arms, drawing more blood. My brother didn't make a noise though, just watched me fearfully. _Don't worry about me_, his eyes seemed to be telling me. _Just worry about yourself. I'll be okay._

"No!" I cried, this time in response to Takeru's unspoken command. "Takeru.."

A feral grin remaining on his face, my uncle stood up and advanced back towards me again. "Take off your shirt," he ordered.

I moaned, knowing what he wanted, and also thinking of all the bruises still residing on my skin. It was bad enough Takeru knew I was being hit. But to actually see the bruises, and to find out what else my uncle liked to do to me... I'd never wanted him to know.

I shook my head, a few tears escaping. "No.." I moaned. "Please, Oji, don't make me.."

He aimed the knife at my brother's heart. "At this close range, I don't think I'd miss," he warned.

That did it. Letting out a whimper not unlike Takeru's earlier, I slipped my shirt over my head. I didn't dare look at Takeru.

"oniichan.." I heard him whisper in shock, and then I chanced to look at him for a second. In just the glimpse that I got, I could see his eyes were wide and full of worry. But not disgust, or hatred, or anger. I was relieved.

My uncle came over and trailed his fingers lightly down my chest, smiling when I flinched at the pain as he went over all the bruises. Then he leaned in and kissed me. I squeezed my eyes shut, partly to attempt not to cry, partly to pretend this wasn't happening, partly so I wouldn't have to see my little brother's reaction as he watched his uncle passionately kiss his older brother.

When I failed to respond to his kiss, he pulled back and slapped me on the back of the head. "Stupid shit," he said again. "You're worthless, and can't do anything right! Tell me why you told!"

"I didn't tell, honest," I repeated, still trying to stick to my story.

He scowled, and suddenly went back to my brother. Scooping him up roughly, he dropped him in the chair he'd sat in, and glared at him. "You move, even so much as shift in that seat, I'll kill you, I swear I will."

Takeru nodded, eyes still wide.

My uncle came back to me, and picked me up as well, slinging me down on the bed. I cringed back away from him, knowing what he planned to do.

"Please," I begged him, darting my eyes at Takeru, who looked confused and unsure of what my uncle had in my mind. "Not here.. not in front of my brother.."

He ignored me and instead yanked my pants down and off me, not caring that they ripped. I let out a small cry, hardly able to believe this was happening.

_Taichi... you said everything would be alright.. I believed you. I still do. As long as Takeru and I make it out alive, everything will turn out okay.. Just.. I need you. I wish you were here... please, someone save me! Save Takeru!_

My uncle got up on the bed and straddled me, his weight bearing down on me and making me feel slightly short of breath.

I glanced back at my brother again, whose eyes were now miserable with knowledge.

"Now, are you going to tell me?"

Stubbornly, I shook my head. I had to protect Taichi too, and if it meant getting raped for him, I'd do it. Dad would be here tomorrow, and then things would be okay. I could keep Takeru alive until then.

"Goddammit boy! I don't know why you're lying, but it's doing you no good!"

Without hardly being aware that he was doing, he angrily brought the knife up and then plunged it downward into my arm.

Takeru shrieked, and I let out a loud scream. My uncle removed the knife, and blood began to pour out of the wound. The pain was excruciating, a thousand-no, million-times worse than when he'd ever raped me. My arm felt like it was on fire, and my eyes blurred with tears. I was only just conscious of my uncle pulling his pants down, removing my own boxers, and entering me, thrusting over and over... I barely felt it. That pain was minuscule compared to the pain of the wound in my arm.

Dimly I heard Takeru crying off to the side, and gradually my eyes focused enough and the pain abated slightly for me to realize that my uncle was done with me at the moment, he'd had his fun, proven his power over me.

Weakly I lifted my head and looked at Takeru. "Where's Oji?" I whispered.

"Went into the other room. He'll be back," Takeru sniffed. "Are you okay?"

I tried to smile for his sake. "'S'nothing. Just.. scratch.." My reassurance was ruined as I felt my stomach lurch. I sat up and turned my head to the side just in time to hurl Mrs. Yagami's brunch on the floor.

"Ew, gross," Takeru said, giving a small giggle. That, thankfully, brought a smile to my face. No matter that it was a small one.

"Sorry, kiddo," I rasped.

Just then my uncle stormed back in. He looked at the mess on the floor.

"You stupid fucker! Goddammit!" He came over and hit me hard on arm, where'd he'd so happily stuck the knife in earlier. All I could manage was a small moan at the pain. Screams were beyond me.

"I ought to make you clean that," he muttered.

Takeru gave him a pleading look, and I tried to shush him before he could say anything stupid, something he'd regret. "Please Ojisan, he's hurting, don't make him clean it, please."

"Shut up brat!" he said, backhanding my brother.

I stiffened. My uncle abusing me I could take, but it was starting to seriously piss me off the way he kept hurting Takeru.

"Stop that!" I said.

He whirled around. "Excuse me?"

"Stop it, Oji. Stop hitting him. He didn't do anything." It was hard for me to speak, but I spoke slowly, forming my words with care and trying to keep as much slur out of my voice as possible. It was hard for all the pain, but I faired okay.

His reply was spoken softly, dangerously. "You do not presume to tell me what to do. I will do whatever the fuck I want to do , and if that includes hitting little angelic otouto over here, then I will do so. Is that understood?"

"No," I spat out defiantly.

I caught a quick spark of emotion in his eyes, something like I'd never seen before. It wasn't anger, or glee at seeing us suffer. It was something else entirely. Something I didn't recognize. Something.. alien to a man like him. Then it was gone.

I don't remember if he said anything to my defiance or not; I floated in and out for a bit. I was delirious with pain and worry for my brother's life, his innocence. Sometimes I was vaguely aware that I was mumbling, of what I couldn't make sense; it didn't matter anyways. Other times I was crying. Some times I lost all touch with reality completely, and floated in darkness for awhile. I had no idea what was going on. When I finally came to, the pain was a steady throb in my arm, slightly more tolerable. My eyes went to the window. It was dark outside. I looked over at Takeru, surprised to find him tied to the chair. "Why.." I began. My voice cracked, and I cleared it. I started over. "Why are you tied up?"

"Ojisan left." His voice was toneless, and it scared me some.

"Did he hurt you?" I demanded frantically. _Oh please don't let Oji have hurt him.._

My brother shook his head. "No.. not really. He hit me some more, but that mostly doesn't hurt. It's you he hurt." Takeru's eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I didn't mean for you to get dragged into all of this. I thought it would be okay.. I thought I could get through it without you having to find out.."

"You should have told me," he sobbed. "We're going to be stuck in here until he kills us, aren't we?" The fear in his voice was unmistakable.

"No!" I said with as much force as I could muster. I raised my head the tiniest bit and looked him in the eye. "No, Takeru, I promise you he won't kill us. Otousan said he'd get here first thing in the morning. I told him what was going on last night, okay? Everything will turn out fine. Don't fret."

"But I'm scared!" he burst out. "I don't want you to die, Yamato!"

I was amazed. His own life was on the line, and all he cared about was mine. Of course, I was the same way, wasn't I? "Neither of us will die, kiddo. Okay? Can you believe that? Can you trust me?"

He nodded.

Outside a car door slammed.

"He's back, isn't he?" Takeru whispered, and I nodded.

-+-+-+

"Come on, come on, go faster!" he urged the machine on softly. "I have to get to Odaiba _now_. Yamato's in trouble, I know he is.. I can feel it."

Masaharu leaned his head against the seat of the plane and sighed. "I should have told him not to go back," he muttered. "There had to have been a way to keep Takeru safe without placing Yamato in such danger. What kind of parent am I, anyways?"

"Not a very good one," he answered himself. "Geez, Yamato, please be okay. Be safe. And whatever's happening...hang on. I'm getting there as fast as I can."

-+-+-+

"I can't do this Kou!"

"Huh?" He looked up at me, startled out of his thoughts.

"I can't just keep sitting here waiting for any news. It's driving me crazy! And I'm too wired to sleep, and I'm not ready to go home. I'd do something, but I tried earlier and couldn't concentrate. I don't get it, how can you just sit there so calmly!"

"I don't feel the wrongness the way you do Taichi. The only way I know something is wrong right now is because of you."

"Gee thanks," I said sarcastically.

"I meant that in a good way."

I rolled my eyes at him, and he had the grace to blush. "I knew that!" he said, before I could say anything.

"Knew what?"

"Whatever you were going to say."

"Uh-huh. Sure," I said, pretending to be disbelieving. "If you say so, Koushiro."

-+-+-+

"Oh, so you're finally awake now, are you?" he smirked.

I just watched him warily, unsure of what he was thinking of next.

He went over and untied Takeru, and then yanked me to a sitting position. I grit my teeth against the pain, determined not to act like a baby as I'd done earlier.

"Now, let's start over, shall we? Hopefully things will go over a lot better this time. I'm going to ask you once more, Yamato. Did you tell?"

I shook my head. "No," I whispered.

His face tightened, and I saw his jaw quirk a bit, but he didn't say anything to me. Instead he went to my brother, who was watching him fearfully. Neither of us knew what he had planned, and couldn't predict what he'd do next.

We especially weren't prepared for what he did.

Without warning, he swung his arm in a wide arc towards Takeru; the next thing I knew was Takeru's face was deadly white, and he was on his knees on the floor, clutching at his chest, trying to keep the blood from spilling everywhere, a huge gaping hole in his chest where the knife had been just moments before.

That's when I lost it. "TAKERU!" I screamed, and I felt new strength beginning to surge up through me. I didn't know where it came from. I didn't care.

"TAKERU!" I screamed again as he groaned. My uncle laughed, and I turned to him, furious, hot tears stinging my eyes.

"You fucking BASTARD!" I shouted at him, then lunged at him. He stumbled backwards, taken off guard by my unexpected attack. His surprise gave me the edge I needed. Within seconds he was down on the ground, and I was on top of him, pounding him with my fists.

"You fuckin bastard! You hurt my brother! He didn't do anything to do! You goddamned bastard, I hate your guts, I hate what you did to Takeru, I hate what you did to me, I HATE YOU! I wish you'd die!" I was pummeling him in the face, hardly aware of my actions. Blood was everywhere, I didn't know if it was his or mine. Perhaps it was both, who knows.

Gasping for breath, his hands fumbled for something a few feet away. I looked. It was his knife, which he'd dropped when I knocked him off balance.

"Oh no you don't, you asshole!" I said, but he managed to get it before I had a chance. He brought his hand towards me, I let out a shriek and grabbed his wrist, bending it backwards with all my strength.

We remained interlocked in our eternal struggle for a bit. I gradually became aware that I was shouting something at him over and over. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! I hate you, I hope you die! Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, go to hell! Goddamned bastard!"

At the last moment, just when the knife was getting too close to my back for comfort, I slammed his wrist down on the floor. We both heard the distinct snap of bone breaking, he cried out and the knife clattered to the floor. I snatched it up.

"I hate you!" I screeched. "I fucking hate you!" I wish you were dead!"

"Get off me, you brat," he grunted, and somehow slung me off of him. I went flying across the room, whamming into the wall, the breath temporarily knocked out of me. "Shit," I grunted. At least I was still holding on to the knife. I'd probably need it.

I caught my breath and looked back up just in time to see my uncle rushing towards me. "No!" I cried, and rolled off to the side. He crashed into the wall, and I crawled away from him, too weakened to get back on my feet again.

"You little shit," he muttered at me, and reached over for me. I scrambled backwards, but he grabbed onto my ankle tightly, and I couldn't shake him lose. "No, dammit! I won't lose! I'm not going to die here, not like this!"

Desperate to get away and get to Takeru, I clutched the knife tightly and then stabbed him in the chest, trying not to think about what I was doing.

He hissed in pain, and I pulled the knife back before he could grab it. However, he let go of me. Thinking he'd go for me again, I scrabbled backwards as fast as I could. But it wasn't me he was after. Instead, he went for Takeru.

"No!" Stupidly, and in utter desperation, I tossed the knife at him. The handle hit his body harmlessly and fell gently to the floor.

He laughed and picked it up. "Stupid boy," he told me.

"Fuck me," I cursed myself. "That was so stupid."

Then my eyes widened. "TAKERU!"

My uncle was raising the knife against Takeru, preparing to plunge it deep into his heart...

Somehow I got in front of my brother, grabbed my uncle's wrist. Forced the knife out of his hand. Picked it up, and stabbed him. And stabbed him. And stabbed him.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," I was muttering as I stabbed him. "No! No! You won't hurt Takeru! NO!"

"Yamato! Yamato!"

"No! NO! NO NO NO NO!"

Strong hands wrapping around me, pulling me away from my uncle, wrenching the knife out of my hand.

"Yamato! He's dead!"

I struggled, tried to hit whoever it was, not wanting to let go, having to kill him... needing to hurt him for hurting my little brother..

"No!" I shrieked. "Let me go! Let me go!"

"Yamato! Stop it, he's dying, okay? He's dying! You're safe now, you're safe!"

"NOOOO! No... no... Takeru..."

Gradually I began to come back to myself, and I realized I was sobbing wildly, and completely covered in blood.

It was dad who was holding me.

"'tousan.." I sobbed. "I killed him, I killed him! Oh my God, I killed him!"

"Shh.." he soothed, brushing back my hair. "It's over, I'm here now, you're safe.. it''s over, Yamato.."

Then suddenly I remembered. "Takeru!" I began struggling against dad again, and he let me go this time. I sort of crawled over to my brother, who was lying still on the floor. "Call an ambulance!" I screamed at my father in panic, as I scooped up my brother's body. He was so pale and lifeless...

"Please don't die, Takeru," I begged him. "I didn't go through all that for you to die on me now... _Please_, Takeru.." I hugged his body close to me, tears rolling down my cheeks, my uncle's dead body a few feet away from us, and my father sitting beside me, still brushing back my hair, trying to comfort me.

"Takeru..." I sobbed. "Don't die, please don't die.."

In the distance I heard the wail of a siren.

Chapter 6 _finale_

2004 butterflie 24 January 2004 Saturday 1:57AM


	8. Untouched

Disclaimer: Toei's.

**Bleed**  
by: _butterflie_  
Epilogue - Untouched

The first sound to flutter into my consciousness was low murmur of voices. The second was a steady beeping sound.

Opening my eyes, I winced when a bright fluorescent light hit them. I tried raising my hand but found it too weak.

"Don't move," I heard dad's voice instruct me. From the sound of it, he was somewhere to my left. Ignoring his command, I tried turning my head in his direction, but I found I was unable to do that either.

"Need.." I whispered, but my voice was so low and raspy I don't know if dad heard it.

Blindly, I reached out my hand towards him, glad I could at least move that.

I felt dad's hand close around mine. Comforted to find him so near, I closed my eyes and drifted back off into sleep again.

When I woke next, the room was much brighter, and I groaned as the light blasted my sensitive eyes. I had a pounding headache, and they weren't helping much.

I could feel dad still holding my hand.

Trying once more, I found I was able to turn my head enough to just bring him into my blurry focus.

"Otousan..." My voice was hoarse, and I still felt horribly weak.

His hand tightened on mine. "I'm here, Yamato," he said softly.

"Takeru... okay?" I had no idea what happened to my brother, whether he'd made it or not. The last I remembered was hugging his bleeding his, unconscious body to mine, crying and hoping he'd live. I feared greatly that he was dead.

"Un." Dad nodded. "Takeru's okay, Yamato. He's stable."

"See..."

Now he shook his head. "You're not well enough right now. Focus on getting your strength back first. Then we'll talk about visiting him."

As much as I wanted to see my brother, that didn't really seem like such a bad idea. I felt so drained..

A week later, I was able to remain awake for about nine hours. I could also sit up, keep down liquids and soft foods, and talk normally. I still felt like hell, particularly my right arm, but I was in much better mood and condition than previously.

"Tell me what happened when I passed out," I requested of dad. It was the next Friday. Dad stayed here with me in the hospital almost 24/7. He hadn't even gone in to work. I was grateful. I needed his presence and support, since only family was allowed to see me at the moment.

This would be the first time we chanced to talk about what happened. I still wondered just what did, after I blanked out.

Dad nodded. "Well, it was such a hectic chaos," he said. "The ambulance came racing in, and the men rushed in and started working on Takeru, and then another came zooming after the first, and those men shoved me aside and started in on you. Then about ten cop cars arrived, which of course drew out a bunch of gawking neighbors, and the press found out, and they showed up.. You guys were loaded into the ambulances and worked on some more, and the cops kept trying to ask me tons of questions. Microphones were thrown in my face, more questions shouted at me.. I brushed them all off in favour of bugging the medics, because I was frantic with worry about you and Takeru. I had no idea if you guys would live or die..." he stopped then, and seemed unable to go on.

I reached out and gently patted his hand. "Yeah, but we're okay now 'tousan," I said, hoping to make him feel better. Obviously I don't have much practice at comforting people.

He smiled at me. "Yes, but at the time I was terrified of losing you..."

"What happened to-" I paused, swallowed hard. "-to Oji?"

"The uh.. the coroner came. Zipped him up in a body bag and drove him away to the morgue, to get started on the autopsy."

I frowned. "Why did they need to do that? They know how he died.."

"Every violent death is always autopsied, even if they know the cause. And too, they needed to know ..well, how many times you uh, you stabbed him..."

I winced, trying not to think back to that night, how out of control I was, how out of touch with reality I got. I still find it hard to believe I've actually _killed_ somebody, even if I was just defending Takeru. "How many?" I asked Otousan quietly, needing to know.

"Thirteen," he answered me bluntly, knowing better and not trying to soften the blow.

I sucked in a quick breath and looked away from him. "That many?" I asked him, trying to sound nonchalant. My shaky voice betrayed me.

"Everyone understands why, Yamato."

"Do they, really? Will the police understand?"

"You're not going to go to jail, if that's what you're worried about. Nor any kind of juvenile hall. You acted in self defense of you and Takeru. Everyone knows that."

"How can they prove it?"

"Takeru will back up your story, Yamato."

"How? He's too busy being a comatose vegetable." There was no mistaking the bitter tone to my voice. I wanted to add it was my fault he was that way, but I had a feeling dad would get mad, so I said nothing.

He was silent as well, and I got the feeling I had offended him. I bit down on my lip, but still didn't look at him. "Sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean it. I'm being dumb. Sorry," I said again.

"It's.. okay." He sighed. "I need to stand and walk for a bit before I forget how. Will you be okay in here by yourself?"

"Sure. What could happen? Not like I could do anything.. The second I'd try to stand, I'd collapse. I'll be okay, 'tousan. Go on. Go out and get some fresh air."

"Okay. I'll do that then."

-+-+-+

"I'm going to go home."

"Huh?" He raised his head from the table and looked at me.

"I said, I'm going home. At this rate, nothing is going to happen. Yamato's probably fine. We're just sitting here worrying for nothing. And there's school tomorrow, I don't want to keep you up late."

"Alright." Koushiro nodded and stood. "I guess that makes sense. But if you hear anything... call me, okay?"

I stood as well. "Sure thing."

"Thanks." I let him accompany me to the door, where I bid him goodnight and walked home.

I let myself in, and Hikari greeted me at the door. Her face was strained, and I could immediately tell she'd been crying earlier. My heart seized. "What?" I asked quickly, starting to panic slightly. "What is it?"

"Ms. Takaishi says that Takeru is missing."

I think my mind went blank then. "What?" I asked stupidly.

"Takeru is _missing_," she emphasized. "As in, no one knows where he is. No one has seen him since he left here hours ago."

"Oh my god..." I whispered. "Does 'kaasan know?"

"No... I didn't want to bother her..."

Shit.. Yamato! "God dammit Hikari!" I shouted. I grabbed her by the shoulders and began shaking her in frustration. "Why didn't you tell her! You idiot! They could be dead by now! OKAASAN! OKAASAN!"

She came out of her bedroom, frowning when she saw what I was doing to Hikari. "Taichi, let go of your sister!"

Angrily, I shoved Hikari away from me. "Okaasan, Takeru is missing!" I told her. "Hikari's known for hours!"

Her eyes became worried. She turned to my sister. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I... I didn't want to bother you," she stuttered. She was starting to look sort of scared, as if she realized this thing went deeper than it seemed. Her eyes darted from mine to mom's. "Why? What's going on? What do you guys know?"

I ignored her. "'kaasan... we have to do something! We have to go over there and save them, or something! Yamato.. we can't just... leave him there..."

Mom let out a soft sigh. "I don't think that's such a good idea," she said quietly.

I shrieked. "What! You can't be serious! You'd leave him there to-to ...only Kami knows, get killed or whatnot?"

"Of course not, Taichi," she soothed. "But if you go rushing in after him, you're likely to get killed yourself."

"I don't care! I have to save him!" I shoved past her and Hikari and ran to my room, locking the door behind me. Snatching up my phone, I called Koushiro.

One ring...

"Come on, I know you're there.."

Two rings...

Fingers drumming impatiently against the desk.

Three rings...

"Dammit!"

Four rings...

..."Hello?"

"Kou!" I almost cried in relief.

"Taichi? Why are you calling me? You just left."

I let out a shuddery breath. "Hikari says Takeru has been missing for quite a few hours."

He understood instantly. "Oh. Oh no."

"Yeah," I said grimly. "And mom just wants me to leave him there. I can't do that. I have to save him and Takeru."

Silence. Did the phone get disconnected? "Kou? You there?"

"I'm here," he said quietly. "Tai... I don't think it's very wise. It's risky and dangerous. You're liable to be killed or seriously injured."

"Don't you think I know that better than anyone? I saw, Koushiro. I saw what Yamato's uncle did to him. I know the risks. I'm not stupid."

"Then why?"

"Because I have to try. If I don't, and anything happens to _either_ of them, I'll never forgive myself for the rest of my life. Ever."

"So why are you calling me?"

"I want your help. Are you in?"

A pause. Then, "yeah, I'm in."

"Good." A small smile briefly lit my face. "Listen, right now all I want you to do is call the rest of the gang. There aren't many, but call them anyways. Have them all gather at your place. I've got to make another call, I'll call you back in about twenty minutes, okay?"

"Sure. Sure, I'll do that."

"Thanks, Kou."

"No problem, Tai." He hung up.

I tried to swallow the sudden lump in my throat and dialed Mr. Ishida's number. There was no answer. This could mean a number of things. 1)He was asleep. After all, ahe was in a different country and bI wasn't sure of the time change. 2)He was in the bathroom/shower. Possible, but I couldn't waste time calling him back. Every second was precious. 3)He was busy working. It was a business trip, right? 4)He was out somewhere, doing who knows what. 5)Unspeakable adult things. Not likely, considering Yamato always said he was too immersed in work to notice women. 6)He'd somehow managed to get back here.

I didn't put much faith in the last one. If planes didn't fly out of there Thursdays, how else would he get here? By ship would take forever.

At any rate, it didn't matter. He didn't answer. I couldn't waste any more time on him. I had to get to Yamato and Takeru. There was only one slight problem.

I had no fucking plan.

I hadn't bothered ringing Koushiro back, so he looked a bit surprised when he opened the door to my knocking and saw me standing there.

"You didn't call." It almost sounded like an accusation.

"Erm..yeah, sorry. I figured it'd be quicker if I just came." I followed him to the living room, where the other Erabareshi were gathered round. There weren't many. Sora, Jou, Daisuke, Ken. Miyako and Iori weren't there. I looked at Koushiro questioningly.

He shrugged. "No answer."

"Why are we here?" Daisuke asked, sounding utterly confused and lost.

I bit my lip. "It's... complicated. One of those 'long story' types. But the short of it is, Yamato has been staying with his uncle for the past week while his dad is on a business trip. His uncle has been... hurting him... and threatened to kill Takeru if Yamato told. Yamato told, his uncle found out. His uncle has Takeru. Koushiro and I are going to go save them."

"That's awful!" Sora gasped. Her hand flew to her mouth, I guess in shock or something. I don't know, I don't pretend to understand females.

"But Taichi," Jou spoke up, pushing his glasses up further on his nose, "are you sure-"

"I know the risks," I cut in. "I think it's worth it."

"Even if all four of you get killed?"

"At least I'll die knowing I did something, that I didn't just sit around and let them get killed."

There was nothing said to that, until Ken, who'd previously been doing his best to become with the couch, spoke. "I want to go with you guys."

Silence.

"What?" That was Daisuke.

Ken blushed. "I said I want to go with them."

"Dude, why!"

Ken blushed more. "I just do." He looked towards me. "Can I, Taichi-kun?"

"Only if you knock it off with the Taichi-kun. Sheesh, Ken, we've known each other long enough, you don't need to call me that."

His eyes turned downcast. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"So what's the plan?" Koushiro asked. Everyone looked at me.

Damn. "Um... there isn't one."

"I'll have you know this is fucking crazy!" Koushiro hissed.

"It's not like I had a lot of time to think about it!" I retorted.

The three of us were crouched about five houses down from Yamato's uncle's house, hiding behind some random person's sidewalk bushes. We were kind of wary to go any further, really. So far, our only plan was, "get to the house and see if we can tell what's happening". Hell of a plan, huh? Ken's idea, actually. And he and Kou are supposed to be some kind of geniuses.

"Yeah, but you're the one who wanted to rush off and put yourself in danger to save Yamato."

"Oh excuse me for caring about my friends _lives_, I guess the next time you're in danger I'll just leave you there."

Koushiro merely sighed.

"Shhh!" Ken reprimanded. "I hear something."

We went silent and strained to listen.

"I don't hear anything."

"I thought... well, it sounded like shouting. It wasn't very loud..."

"It could have been."

I stood up, pants rustling noisily.

"Where are you going?" Ken asked.

"I want to get closer."

"What?" Are you crazy? Get back here!"

My lips curved into a disappointed frown. "Kou, there's not much point in my coming here to save them if I'm going to hide back here the whole time. If you guys want to chicken out on me, fine. But don't expect me to cower and whimper back here with you." With that said, I started walking. I was about two houses away from Yamato's uncle's when I heard Ken's little yelp. "Wait!"

I stopped and let him and Koushiro catch up. "It's not like I was planning on walking in there, I hope you guys realize that."

-+-+-+

I wondered where Taichi was. I'd been a week in the hospital, and there was no sign of him. He had to know I was here. I wondered if his absence was his choice or the doctor's. Most likely the latter. Taichi would never voluntarily avoid or abandon me. I know he wouldn't. Because he said he loved me. And Taichi wouldn't say that unless he meant it. He's not the type to so openly express his emotions like that. So if he said it, he definitely meant it. Which means that the only reason he's not here by my side is because the doctors aren't letting him be in here.

I wish he was, though. I really miss him. I need him. I need to see him. I want him to hold me and reassure me that everything will still turn out alright in the end. He said everything would, I'm still holding him to that. Especially with Takeru the way he is...

-+-+-+

"Can you see anything?"

"No... but I can certainly hear..." Koushiro whispered back to me. "I just don't understand what's going on."

"Me neither. There's too much yelling.." I ached to burst inside and get Yamato out of there. I could hear all the insults his uncle was hurling at him, and I wanted to save him from all that. Yamato's self-esteem had suffered already within the past year, he certainly didn't need this. But I knew that to go in there unprepared would be stupid. We'd all get killed, no questions asked. And you know, I value my life. I'd rather live to see tomorrow, thanks.

"So what are we going to do?" Ken asked softly.

I sighed. "I don't know... I wish I could just go in there and save him, but I know I can't..."

"Reality bites," Koushiro said sympathetically.

All of a sudden, a loud scream pierced through the air, and then all three of us clearly heard Yamato's agonized shouting of his brother's name.

"Oh shit," I whispered. "I can't stand this anymore! I don't care what happens, I have to go in there!"

I stood, planning to go around front, but I felt a hand firmly grasp my wrist, holding me back. "Dammit, Ken, let go."

"No."

"Let go, I said!"

"No! I'm not letting you go in there so you can get killed!"

"I have to! Something's happened to Takeru! Anything could happen to Yamato too!"

"Takeru's not dead yet. Don't go, Taichi."

I glared at him. "Don't you even care about them?"

"Of course I care," he said quietly. "I care a lot. I don't want anything to happen to them either, especially Takeru." He blushed a bit. "But I don't want anyone else to get hurt. Please don't go."

"But I have to," I whispered, my eyes filling with tears. "Even if I die in there, at least I'll have done _something_ to help them. Coming out here and listening to them be abused is not the idea of help I originally had in mind."

"Taichi-" Ken began, but then suddenly froze.

"What?" I asked him, wiping at my eyes.

"Shhh!"

"What-" Then I froze too. A car. A cab. Coming down the street.

"Taichi! Get back here! Quick!"

Reacting to Kou's words, I scrambled back behind the bushes, scraping my knees on the ground. "Ow," I hissed.

"Shh..."

The cab was slowing down in front of the house. It pulled up to the curb, the headlights briefly washing over our bushes. We ducked down lower, hoping we wouldn't be spotted.

"Who'd be coming here?" I asked in the softest of voices.

"Don't know," Kou replied, just as softly.

The door of the cab opened and a man jumped out, tossing some money in the cab before running to the house. Then he yanked open the door and disappeared inside.

We all stared at each other.

"Was that..."

"I thought you said..."

"How did he...?"

Mr. Ishida.

-+-+-+

"Taichi!"

"Hi!" he bounded into the room, grinning madly. I felt like doing the same myself. I was so happy to see him. It was the first time since I woke up in the hospital, and the doctors finally felt that I would be able to handle a very few visitors. Obviously they hadn't met Taichi.

He came over to me and leaned down, gently giving me a hug before sitting on the edge of my bed. We were alone in the room, dad having gone home for the first time earlier to rest for a few hours while I visited with Taichi.

He reached over and smoothed back my hair. "So how are you feeling?"

I groaned. "Let's just say I've had better days."

He laughed. "Like crap, huh?"

"You could say that."

"When are they letting you out?"

I shrugged. The doctors hadn't said anything about releasing me yet. "Who knows? No one's said anything." Then I thought of something. "Hey, have you seen Takeru?"

He shook his head, solemn all of a sudden. "No. I asked, but they won't let me. No one has seen him except for your parents."

"Parents? My mom's been here?"

"Yeah..." Taichi responded uncomfortably. "She hasn't been in here?"

"Of course not," I replied bitterly. But then again, why should I have expected her to be? I'm just that son she once had. It's not like she cares about me or anything. Of course she'd care about Takeru too much to even think about me. "Don't need her anyways," I mumbled.

About a month later, the doctors felt I was recovered enough to go home for the first time. I walked into our apartment, my dad right behind me, ready to support me at a moment's notice if I felt too weak or dizzy. I paused for a moment in the living room, staring and taking it all in. It was so weird, everything felt so strange and surreal. It had been so long since I'd been here. It's like when you go away on vacation, and then you come back home and walk in and it doesn't feel like your house. Like it's someone else's that you're walking into, or like a place that was abandoned suddenly.

I continued on, going through the living room, passing through the kitchen and heading down the hallway, dad still following a couple paces behind. I turned the corner and reached my room. The door was shut, so I opened it. Then I just stood in the doorway, looking in. Everything was as I'd left it last, that night before I went to my uncle's. Untouched, just sitting there waiting for me to return home and resume life. My bed was still unmade, clothes were rumpled up on the floor from when Taichi and I stopped in. My song notebook was sitting closed on my desk, a pencil on top ready for me to pick it up and begin scribbling in the notebook.

What if I hadn't come back? What if my uncle had killed me, and I died? Everything would still be here, and I wouldn't come back to it. What would dad have done? Would he leave everything untouched, shutting the room up until the air grew old and stale, or would he clean it up and throw everything out, keeping but a few things as memories of his once son?

It was then that dad chose to ask, "Yamato? You okay?"

Suddenly I felt very overwhelmed by it all. It had been a long day, an even longer month. I was tired and out-of sorts, my arm throbbed where it had been stabbed, and these morbid thoughts weren't doing anything to help. Without even knowing I was going to, I let out a sob, breaking the hold I had on my emotions and releasing a flood of tears that just didn't want to stop. Dad didn't say anything, just turned me around and pulled me close to him in a tight hug, holding me, letting me cry. Normally I didn't like to be held by my father, because it felt weird, but for once I didn't mind. I was desperate for human contact and didn't much care who it came from.

After awhile I calmed down and pulled away from dad.

"Alright now?" he asked.

I nodded. "Sorry."

"Don't be."

I went over and sat down on my bed, letting out a soft sigh. Dad's worried eyes never left me, always watching, as if to reassure himself that I was still alive.

I gave him a small smile. "I'm not going to perish right under your eyes, you know."

He smiled back. "I suppose not. Are you hungry? I can get us something to eat."

Hungry? Food was actually the last thing on my mind right now, and the thought of it made me slightly sick to my stomach. But I didn't want to worry dad anymore than he already was. I could tell how much the past month had taken its toll on him. He looked like hell. And I did need to eat something. "Can you just get me some soup?"

"Soup?" He looked confused.

"Well, after all that hospital junk.. I don't want to overdo it." I shrugged, as if it was no big deal. I just hoped I'd be able to keep the soup down.

"Okay then. Anything in particular?"

"No... just whatever."

"Well I'll be going then. Will you be alright here by yourself, or do you want to have one of your friends come over?"

"I'll be fine, 'tousan. Go on. Go get the food."

"If you're sure. I'll be back soon. I'm taking my cellphone, so call if you need anything."

Once he was gone, I sighed and lay back on my bed, and looked at my arm. The bandage was still there, though in a few days I had to go back to the hospital to get it removed. I was afraid to, I had no idea what the scar might look like or how bad it would be. Gently I lifted up my shirt and inspected my stomach. Those bruises, thankfully, were gone. So were the ones on my cheek. My limp had disappeared a long time ago. The only evidence left of my uncle were the scars. The one on my arm, and the one on my wrist. The one from my stupid attempt at suicide. It had ended up scarring. The doctors saw it in the hospital, and they told my dad. He'd been upset. He cried, wanted to know why I did it. The doctors weren't nearly as caring. They just wanted to put me on suicide watch, no questions asked. It had been hard, but I'd explained to dad about it, and he managed to convince the doctors I wasn't suicidal. I'm glad, but I just wish it hadn't scarred over. I don't want to see that reminder every day for the rest of my life. Just the memories are bad enough. Stupid scars...

Though I suppose I should be thankful I won't have a scar like Takeru's. I'd seen it once, briefly, when Takeru was still unconscious and they let me visit him. Thankfully now he's awake, but he's not handling things too well. He's still trying to get a grasp on the whole thing... I'm just glad he's alive. I couldn't take it if he'd ended up dying because of me.

The next day the questions came. I'd been dreading them ever since I'd first woken up in the hospital, but my dad and the doctors were too focused on having me get better to care about the technical details.

But it had to be done. The doctors and the police needed to know, and of course there was to be an investigation into my uncle's death.. I may have had motive, but I _did_ stab him a lot. I suppose they also wanted to evaluate my sanity and send me to a shrink too.

They let my dad do the questioning, thinking I'd be more comfortable telling him things rather than a bunch of strangers. As an additional courtesy, they decided to not even be present. They just gave my dad a tape recorder, told him what to ask, and that was that. I was rather glad, actually. The thought of telling a bunch of other guys I didn't know all the intimate things I'd let my uncle do did not sound very fun to me. As it was, I was uncomfortable enough just running the tape recorder, knowing they'd be hearing it later on. I dreaded the day when they'd have to interview themselves, and make it official. Ugh. Stupid cops, always needing to have everything legal.

Dad and I sat down at the kitchen table, the tape recorder between us. He turned it on and stated the date and time and location. He looked just as uncomfortable as I felt, which reassured me some. Then he cleared his throat and asked me to tell him the first time my uncle did something against my wishes.

I swallowed, wanting to block out the memories that automatically come rushing into my mind, and knowing I can't. So I tried to not think about the words I was saying. I explained how, the third I night I stayed at my uncle's house, while I was sleeping he came into my room. How he put climbed into bed on top of me, putting his hand on my mouth, telling me not to make a sound, saying I was a good and obedient boy, so quiet.. how he threatened to kill Takeru if I didn't do whatever he said. How he'd raped me. I had to close my eyes when telling that part of it, because I couldn't bear looking at dad's face. I knew if I did, I'd start crying.

Points for dad, he managed to remain calm, even when I talked about the other stuff my uncle did, not letting his emotions getting the best of him.

I didn't limit myself to the sexual abuse. I told him every injustice my uncle had ever committid against me.

"Tuesday afternoon, after school, I came in. He said something asking about my day, as if nothing had happened the night before. I responded that it had been the usual and then tuned him out. Then I realized he was angry and yelling something about homework. I didn't know what homework I had, so I asked him if I could call Taichi to ask about it. Then," I paused, trying not to cry. "Then he punched me hard, in the nose. It started to bleed, and I guess he got even more angry, because he punched me harder in the stomach. It hurt, and I sort of.. doubled over, so he kicked me and I fell down.. He kept kicking me, in my head and stomach, calling me a little shit and pathetic asshole and all kinds of other things. Then he told me to clean up the blood and call Taichi, but if I said one word... Takeru..."

"And what happened then?" Dad asked, sounding rather professional.

"He stormed out of the house, and I was too scared to do anything else, so I cleaned it all up and then called Taichi, but he wasn't home. So I just took a shower and then went and lay down, waiting for Oji to get back."

"When he got back, and found out you couldn't do your homework, was he angry or did he not care?"

"He was angry. He punched me some more, and then grabbed my arm and slung me into the wall.. and he came in my room later that night..."

It was hard explaining the next part. Every rape I had to relate to dad, even if they were virtually the same thing over and over. But the police wanted as much detail as possible, saying that this was a 'delicate investigation'. Delicate, my ass.

Finally we reached the climax of the story, the day my uncle had raped me so roughly that I no longer cared if anyone knew, and I called Taichi. I tried not to, but I ended up breaking down and crying. Dad didn't come over to me, sensing that wasn't what I needed at the moment. What I needed was to keep talking, to get it all out, so that's what I did.

"He ripped my clothes off, and I heard them tear, and I screamed. I screamed at him and begged him to not hurt me, and I started crying, but he just ignored me and took off his own clothes. And then.. he was on me, on top of me, in me, so sudden and quick, and I screamed again, because it hurt so much.." I stopped and put a hand over my face, taking several deep shuddering breaths, trying to calm a bit. It didn't really work. "He kept.. he kept thrusting in and out of me.. and there was so much pain that I couldn't even scream or cry or anything. But he just kept going on, proving his power over me, continuing to hurt me. And then he stopped suddenly, and his body sort of shuddered, and I knew he'd just.." I started to cry even harder. "Oh God, I can't say it 'tousan, I can't, please don't make me say it, I can't do this, can't think about it..." I blubbered. I kept trying to deny what I was saying, like it never really happened. If I didn't say it, it wouldn't be real. That's what I kept saying to myself.

But dad wouldn't let me off, though I could see in his face that he wanted to, wanted to tell me it was alright, he understood, I didn't have to say it.. Yet he couldn't do that.

He reached across the table, holding out his hand, and I gave him my own. He grasped it tightly, and it was somehow comforting. "Just say it when you're ready," he said. "You don't have to say it right away. Just calm down, and when you feel better we can continue."

"I'll never feel better," I said bitterly, but he didn't respond.

So I sighed, and continued, voice barely above a whisper. "He did that, and..." deep breath here "came.. in me.." and I had to stop again, unable to continue for crying. I felt dad's hand tighten around mine, soothing me, encouraging me. "After that, he left the house.. I don't know where he went. Somehow I was able to force myself to pick up the phone and call Taichi."

I sort of skimmed over this part, what went on at Taichi's was inconsequential, and didn't really affect the investigation. Besides, the officers weren't really interested in my love relationship with Taichi. So I just gave a quick summary, and went to the next day, when I'd walked in the house and saw my uncle with Takeru. Then I had to slow down and explain every tiny little detail, as this was the most crucial part of it all. This is what would really determine just how much I was to be blamed for the thirteen stab wounds. I took a long time telling it all, wanting to get everything right, not wanting to mess up any part of it. We went over it three times, to see if there were any discrepancies in my story. I guess the police had instructed him to do that. But there weren't. I knew what happened and I told it.

At long last we were done. Dad shut off the tape recorder and looked at me.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Gods, Yamato, I'm so sorry.. I never should have sent you there. I should have listened to you, should have realized something was wrong.." He kept on like that, apologizing for something that wasn't his fault. Not once did I hear him say "You should have told me", and I felt a lot better because of it.

"Otousan," I interrupted him. "Look, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known, and I didn't tell you. There wasn't anything you could have done about it. Don't blame yourself. Okay? To you I just looked like a spoiled teenager in a hissy fit because I couldn't stay home alone."

He smiled a bit. "Well, I have to admit that's what ran through my mind..."

"See? So stop blaming yourself."

In a week I would go back to school. I was scared. I hadn't been in a month, and I had no idea what had been on the news about me or how much my classmates knew. People would talk about me. I'd pass by in the halls, and they'd whisper things about me. I can already hear them. "There's that Ishida kid," they'd say. "He let his uncle do it with him." "Nah, I heard his uncle was hitting him, and he went crazy and killed him." "He should be in jail. "Poor abused kid..." They'd say all that. Feelings would be mixed. People would feel sorry for me. Others would be disgusted by me. I'd be feared, loathed. I'd make people uncomfortable. I'd be ignored, shunned.

Taichi said I'm being paranoid. He stopped by yesterday, to see how I was, and I ended up telling him how anxious I was about school. He tried his best to comfort me, but I'm still worried. I hope things will be okay, I really do.

-+-+-+

"Stupid Yamato," I mumbled, not really meaning it. I was sitting in homeroom, waiting for him to show up, hoping he hadn't backed out. I'd wanted to go to his place and walk him to school, but he refused, saying he wanted things as normal as possible to today. I thought at the time it was a good idea, but maybe I'd just given him a way to skip out.

About two minutes before the bell, however, the door opened and he walked in. The room got a little quieter upon seeing who it was, and I could tell he felt self-conscious passing everyone on the way to his seat next to mine.

"See?" he said softly as he sat down. "I told you everyone would know and talk about me."

"Yamato, it was on the news. Of course they'd know. But I didn't hear anyone talking about you."

"They will, though," he said miserably. "They will."

I sighed. "Okay, yes, you're right. Some of them will talk about you. But most of them won't. Most of them lost interest a long time ago, and their interest will be revived only briefly by your return. Trust me, most of them could care less about what happened to you, okay? So stop worrying."

He opened his mouth, in a reply I guess, but just then the bell rang and Sensei walked in. He turned to face the front, and I stifled a sigh, listening for my name as Sensei began roll call.

"Hey, have you seen Yamato?"

Koushiro looked up briefly as I plunked down my tray across from him, then went back to whatever piece of schoolwork he was working on.

"Un. Said to tell you he was going to the band room, and he didn't want you coming after him."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"He didn't say."

"Well, why not? Why didn't you ask him?"

He gave me an exasperated look. "I'm not his keeper, as I believe I've stated a million times before. If he wanted me to know, then he simply would have said so."

"Kooooooouu..." I whined. "You should have asked him anyways! I want to know..."

"Your food is getting cold," he said as way of distraction. It worked. Briefly.

"Crap!" I started shoveling food in my mouth and was done in ten minutes, Koushiro watching in morbid fascination the first couple of minutes.

"Pleasant," he remarked. I just grinned around a mouthful of noodles. He rolled his eyes back at me.

When I finished, I shoved my tray aside and turned my head sideways, trying to see what he was working on. It looked very complicated, and I couldn't make much sense of it. "What's that?"

"Advanced Physics," he said, not bothering to look up.

"Oh. You take too many Advanced classes, you know. You're going to fry your brain."

"That's a very high improbability."

"Okay, quit with the genius talk before you really get into it. I thought we cured you of that habit." I joked.

He laughed. "Sorry, Tai. Old habits die hard, you know that."

The second Yamato walked into class after lunch I pounced on him. "Hey, where were you? Why couldn't I see you?" "With the band," he said absently. He looked sort of upset. I didn't know whether to say anything or pretend I'd never noticed. With Yamato, you can never tell. Sometimes he doesn't mind if you show concern over him, and other times he gets really annoyed with you and tries to bite off your head.

I decided not to just yet. "I know that, baka! Koushiro told me. He also told me you said not to disturb you. How come?"

"Hmm? Oh. I had to talk to the band about something."

"They weren't giving you a hard time, were they?" I frowned.

"What?" Now he seemed to focus on me. "Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"Well... you just look a little upset, is all..."

"Well, I'm not," he told me, a bit too sharply, in that voice which meant I was to drop it, right now.

I didn't. The last time I did that, Yamato let his uncle hurt him. "Are you sure? They didn't say anything to you or hassle you about being gone?"

"For Christ's sake, Taichi!" he snapped. "I said I'm fine!"

"I was just making sure," I said defensively. The look in his eyes was scary. Much like that one glare he gave me at the beginning of all this mess, when I'd tried asking him what was wrong. So I let it go. Just this time.

"See? I told you today would be fine!" I grinned triumphantly at him as we exited the school, about to go home.

He merely grunted noncommittally, and I thought again of earlier this afternoon, when he'd seemed upset. He said the band hadn't given him a hard time, and I believed him. They were all way too close for that. But maybe someone else had said something to him, and he just wasn't telling me.

"You trust me, don't you?" I asked him suddenly, seriously.

"Huh?" He looked at me briefly, confused. "Of course I do. I always have."

"Then why do you keep stuff back from me?"

"I don't." But he looked away as he said it.

"You are now," I pointed out as we continued walking down the street, towards his apartment.

"I am not. What would I be keeping back from you? There's nothing to keep back anymore."

"Yamato... I don't want to have to go through this again. Please."

"Go through what?"

"This!" I said. "Trying to pry things out of you. It was hell with the whole uncle thing. Don't make this hell too. If you're worried about hurting me, or offending me, or whatever, don't be. Okay? I don't want you protecting me. I want you telling me things. That's what people do in a relationship, right?"

"That's what you're calling it? 'The whole uncle thing'?"

I just kept myself from sighing. Trust him to focus on the insignificant thing.

"What I call it is not the point. The point is I don't like it when you keep things from me."

"I already said I'm not keeping things from you, Taichi."

"I don't like it when you lie to me either."

He didn't say anything to that, and we walked the rest of the way to his apartment in silence. He stopped at the doorway when we got there, key in hand, and looked at me. "They're letting Takeru come home today," he said.

Was that what had him upset? That didn't make sense.. shouldn't he be glad? And why would he have only been upset after lunch?

"They are? That's great, Yama!" I smiled for him. And it was great. All of us had been really worried about Takeru. It took so long for him to wake up, and when he had he wasn't very well off. If the doctors let him come home so soon, he must be a lot better.

"Yeah, it is." His smile was brief. "I'm glad he's okay, at least. He's not handling everything very well," he said, as he put the key in the lock and turned it. We went inside, slipping off our shoes in the entrance. I followed him to his room, where he dropped off his bookbag and then headed towards the kitchen. "Drink?"

"Yeah, thanks." I took the can of coke from him. "So what is he not handling well, exactly?" I asked.

Yamato sighed at that. "He's just upset. He doesn't remember much of the night that put him in the hospital. He's having a hard time believing that Oji would stab him and almost kill him. He doesn't understand why."

"Does he know about what your uncle did to you?"

"He did. When Oji took him. He um.. well. Oji made him watch. You know. What he'd do to me. Takeru had to watch that."

I winced. "I'm sorry, Yama.." I didn't quite know what to say to that.

He smiled ruefully. "Yeah, well.. At least it meant I didn't have to explain things to him then. But now.. he doesn't remember. Maybe it's better that way."

"How is it better? He'll never really understand why he almost died, if nothing is explained to him."

"I know, but... Takeru doesn't need to know. It's horrible. A horrible thing. Why would he want to know that?"

"You'd rather him always be asking what happened to him, and never quite knowing or understanding? Seems to me that would be worse than telling him the truth."

"I don't know.. I don't know anything anymore. But they're letting him come home today and I'm going to see him. Do you want to come?"

"Ah, Yamato, I don't think I should," I said, a bit uncomfortably. "Not now. I mean, he's your brother. You don't want non-family members coming along. You guys spend some time together. I'll come see him in a few days. Bring Hikari with me."

"You sure? I don't think he'd mind.."

"I'm sure, Yama. Go see him by yourself. I'll come with you in a few days, okay?"

"Well, alright." He looked as if he didn't believe me.

"So when are you going to see him?"

"Well, Natsuko's picking him up from the hospital at about 5. So I thought I'd go around about half an hour later or so."

"Oh. That's not too bad." I set my finished drink on the table. "Do you want me to stay with you until you go?"

He studied his hands. "You don't have to." _But it would be nice._ He didn't have to say it. I heard the unspoken words. I knew he still didn't like to be left alone.

I smiled. "It's not a problem." It was, actually. Mom had wanted me home to do some errands for her. "I don't mind staying."

He still wouldn't look at me. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

-+-+-+

I was glad Taichi had agreed to stay with me. I didn't admit it to him, but I'm scared to be by myself. Not that I think anyone is going to come and hurt me. He's dead, and I know that. He can't hurt me anymore. It's myself I'm scared of. When I'm alone, I can't help but think of things.. the memories hurt. Sometimes I'm scared I'll hurt myself, and I really don't want to do that. So I'm glad Taichi stayed.

"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" he asked, running his fingers through my hair. I enjoyed the sensation, and took comfort in his presence. I smiled and looked up into his face from my position laying on his lap. "Nothing," I said. "Just glad you're here."

"Mm," he replied. "What time is it, anyways?"

I sighed. "Time for me to get going, really," I told him. I let out a small sigh and sat up. "I guess you should get going home, too.."

"Yeah.." He stood up from the couch and I followed him into the entryway and watched him put his shoes back on. "See you at school tomorrow?" he asked, slightly hesitant.

"Sure," I smiled reassuringly. "I'll be there."

He opened the door and stood there for a moment. "You sure?"

I leaned over and kissed him, softly. "I'll be there," I said again. "Go on. I don't want your mom to start worrying about you."

"Okay." He smiled. "Ja ne." Then he was gone. I shut the door behind him, then went into the bathroom, inspecting myself in the mirror. I didn't look too bad. My hair needed a brushing after Taichi had messed it up. The rest of me looked fine, though somewhat exhausted and stressed. Quickly I ran the brush through my hair, and took another look. Not great, but it'd have to do. I grabbed my key and wrote a note for dad - "_gone to visit Takeru. be back later._" and then locked up the apartment and left.

It was misting when I got outside, just enough to feel nice and not enough to be annoying. The walk to Takeru's didn't take very long, and I spent the twenty minutes or so wondering just how bad off he'd be when I saw him. He'd been awful when he first woke up. He went crazy, refusing to believe anything. The doctors had to come in and put him in restraints, and they kept him in them for the first two weeks, because they were afraid he'd hurt himself. He wouldn't, I knew, not on purpose, but he was so out of control there's no telling what he might have done accidentally. He's calmed down a lot since then, but he still doesn't want to accept what happened to him. The first time I saw him, all he'd say was "It can't be true. I would have remembered." He didn't say much more than that the other few times I saw him. The doctors wouldn't let me see him much. They didn't want me to "agitate" him. Whatever that means.

Natsuko answered when I knocked on the door. "Yamato!" she exclaimed. "Come in." She stepped aside and let me in, shutting the door behind me.

"Um, hi, uh.. okaasan." The word stuck in my throat. "I came to see Takeru. He came home today, right?"

"Yes, he's in his room. I'll go tell him you're here." She turned and started to go.

"Ah, no-" She turned back towards me, and I attempted a smile. "It's okay, I'll just go to him. I don't want to make him get up or anything."

"Oh. Okay then. Do you want anything... can I get you a drink or something?"

I sighed. "You don't have to pretend to be nice to me, you know."

She looked startled, and her hands fluttered nervously by her sides. "I wasn't.. I didn't.. Yamato, I don't hate you."

"I... why didn't you come to see me then?" I demanded suddenly, not knowing I was going to.

"I.. I did. When you were asleep. I thought you wouldn't want to see me."

"I wouldn't have minded," I whispered, and looked away. "I, uh-" I cleared my throat, which had a lump in it, suddenly. "I'm going to see Takeru now."

I walked past her, not saying anything else, not really trusting myself to. I went to Takeru's room and knocked on his closed door.

"I'm fine, 'kaasan, really," he sighed.

"It's me," I said. "Can I come in?"

"Oh." I heard him stand and then he was in front of me. "Hi Yamato." He let me in and shut the door back, then went and sat on his bed. I stood for a moment, looking at him. He still didn't look so good. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and he had a bulky white bandage wrapped around his chest. Underneath it and surrounding it were yellowish-looking fading bruises overlaid by mottled blueish ones. Looking at his arm, you could still see where the IV had been in. You could also see faint marks around his wrists where the restraints had been. Looking at them made me feel ill, so I looked up at his face. He was watching me study him, his expression blank. That made me almost as ill as the marks.

"Are you done?" he asked, a touch harsh.

Taken back, all I managed was, "Sorry... I didn't mean..."

He only sighed. "Why are you here?"

"I... what? You're my brother.. Can't I come see you?"

"Sure," he said, in the tone of voice that meant he didn't really mean it.

"No.. never mind.. I'm sorry. I'll come back when you're better.."

Then and turned and ran, all the way home, ignoring Natsuko's startled confusion, ignoring the stares of passerbys in the street, ignoring everything until I was safe in my own house.

I slammed the door shut, and Dad came out of the kitchen to see if everything was okay. I didn't even know he'd be home this early, or I would have went somewhere else.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned. He had a glass of water in his hand, but he set it down on the floor and came near me.

I nodded and opened my mouth, but instead of words a strangled half-sob came out instead.

"Yamato? What's wrong?"

"Takeru hates me," I choked out.

He put his hands on my shoulder and steered me to the living room, then gently set me on the couch before sitting down next to me.

"Now, tell me, why do you say that?"

"Cos... I went to see him and he didn't want me there.."

"That doesn't mean he hates you, Yamato. Do you remember how bad you felt when you came home from the hospital? He's probably feeling even worse than that. He hasn't accepted what's happened, you know that. He doesn't even remember all of that, and he has to try to cope with it. So he'll be cranky and out of sorts and rude to everyone for a few weeks. But it doesn't mean he hates you. Eventually he _will_ come to terms with everything, and then he'll start acting like his old self again. He doesn't hate you, I promise you."

"Yeah, but.." I sniffed. I swear, I was acting like a complete baby over this. Takeru doesn't hate me, I shouldn't even need Dad's reassurance to believe it.

"But nothing. Just give him a few days and then go see him again. He'll be less cranky and rude then, okay?"

I nodded, even though I didn't believe Dad. I suppose I _do_ know that Takeru doesn't hate me, but it feels like he's mad at me and doesn't want to see me right now, and probably won't for a long time. I know Dad thinks Takeru's just mad about finding out what happened to him, but I don't think it's just that.

But still, I don't want to worry Dad about me, so I wiped my tears and put on a smile for him and thank him before heading off to my room, grateful to see a surprised but pleased look on his face at being thanked. Maybe he's right. Maybe things will turn out alright after all. Given time, Takeru _will_ come to terms with what happened and forgive me for involving him. For that matter, I'll probably fully accept it myself, though it doesn't seem like it to me now. But who knows. The future is full of surprises.

_One year later_  
"Yamato, aren't you ready yet?" I said impatiently. "You're going to make us late!"

He just laughed at me. "Takeru, it's not like we have to be there exactly at 12. We could show up at 2 and no one would mind."

"But still," I whined, stamping my foot slightly for emphasis. I braced my hand against the door frame and leaned in a bit, reaching out for his hair. He ducked away from me.

"You mess it up, and we'll just get there even later," he warned, teasing me.

I pouted. "You're mean oniichan."

He grinned. 'Aren't all older brothers?"

"Hmph. I bet Taichi isn't this mean to Hikari-chan. I bet she didn't have to wait for him. They're probably there all now."

"Ah, the heart of the matter," he said, still grinning while fussing with his hair. I swear, I don't know a guy who has to have his hair just right the way Yamato does. "You just want to see your girlfriend."

I blush. "That's not true. I want to see everyone!" Then I gave him an impish smile. "Anyways, you're just trying to look perfect for Taichi."

Now it was his turn to blush. "Hush, Takeru." He left his hair alone and looked at me. "Shall we go?"

I didn't gloat. I'd won, and we both knew it. "Sure. Come on, let's go, quickly!" I was particularly anxious to get to the park and see Hikari-chan. I hadn't seen her much over the past year. Enough so that we were still together, but everything was always strained, and she was always trying to take care of me and help me sort things out. But now I've finally sorted it, and this will be the first time we just get to spend time together, having fun. And having my brother and all our friends there is just an added bonus.

Everyone else was already there under the tree when Yamato and I got there. He immediately went over to where Taichi was talking with Jou and Koushiro and Sora, and I went over to Hikari-chan, who was sitting quietly watching Daisuke and Iori face off against Ken and Miyako in a tiny game of soccer.

"Hey," I said, plopping down beside her.

"Hey yourself." She leaned over and gave me a small kiss on the cheek in greeting. We didn't say anything after that, just sat comfortably next to each other, watching Daisuke getting his butt kicked by Ken in soccer. Iori and Miyako just kind of followed after those two helplessly, giving half-hearted kicks at the ball when their respective teammates sent them the ball. I don't know why Ken and Daisuke just didn't face off by themselves.

"Seems like Ken's winning," I remarked after awhile. "As usual."

She smiled. "Not that Daisuke doesn't give him a good run for his money. They're both excellent players, and they've improved since they were eleven."

"Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if they became big-league soccer stars some day."

"So how is Yamato?" she asked suddenly, as if the conversation about soccer hadn't even happened.

I blinked. "What?"

She shrugged. "Well, Taichi always seems so worried about him."

"Taichi worries too much then. He's a lot better than he was. We both are."

"Are you guys still seeing that psychiatrist?"

"Yeah, some.. Neither of us really need her anymore, so she's sort of tapering off our sessions."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Me, personally, or both of us?"

"Both of you."

"Well, Yamato seems to be fine with it. And me..." I took her hand and smiled at her. "I've accepted what happened now. I know everything, and I even remember everything. I don't like it, but I can live with it. I'm happy. I don't need to see her anymore. All I need to see now is you."

She giggled. "You're such a sap."

"At least I'm a _true_ sap."

"You're going to kill me with all that sweetness, Takeru." But she was smiling as she said it.

I smiled back at her, giving her a quick kiss. Then I sobered and looked over at Yamato and Taichi.

"It was hard, though," I admitted. "I was fighting the truth from the moment I woke up in the hospital. But I think I knew it even then. And then when I started remembering.." I swallowed. I hadn't told Hikari-chan this before. "I blamed Yamato for it. I blamed him for placing me in that situation, and I blamed him for me almost dying, even though it wasn't his fault."

"But you don't blame him anymore?"

I looked back at her face. "No. I don't. Should I?"

"No. And if you did, I was going to have to kill you." She laughed, easing the slight bubble of tension that had formed over us.

I laughed with her, relieved. "Good thing I don't then, huh? Look, what say you we join that soccer game? We can all gang up against Ken and kick his butt." I stood up and brushed myself off, then held out a hand to her.

"I say sounds like a plan." She took my hand, and I pulled her up and brushed her off as well.

"Takeru!" she protested as I pretended to caress her. "I can brush myself off!"

"I thought you might like some help."

"I'm a big girl now. I can do it on my own. Come on, race you to the others." She took off running abruptly, and it almost seemed as if she was mad at me.

Almost.

She was still smiling. And as I took off after her, I was too.

Epilogue _finale_

2004 butterflie 15 April 2004 Thursday 10:10PM


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